Daily Shorts
The Herald's lighthearted look at the world of sport

Supershorts: Long-range attack

Aussies take shots on TV and on tour, and a Blackhawks' fan gets an unwanted trim

Long-range attack

From the tenuous link department ... Katie Lewis has been the subject of a smear campaign in Australia after her allegations of assault by Rabbitohs forward Ben Te'o. The latest attempt to discredit her was in a television interview with a friend of her ex-boyfriend's flatmate. Not her ex-boyfriend, not her ex-boyfriend's flatmate, but a friend of a flatmate of her ex-partner. His cousin's dog, however, remains tight-lipped.

Warner connects

Former England skipper Michael Vaughan was quick with the banter after Aussie opener David Warner punched England batsman Joe Root. "David Warner should pick on someone his own size... !!!!!!!!!!!!!," Vaughan tweeted, poking fun at the pint-sized New South Welshman. "Apparently @davidwarner31 only caught the Outside edge of @joeroot05 face ... !!!! Familiar Dismissal Dave ...," Vaughan added. Expect more (banter that is, not punches) to come as the Ashes rivals will play 10 tests over the next six months.

By the bookIn a previous life, David Warner was the author of bawdy cricket tales.

Taking Root

The sharpest analysis from the Warner v "Babyface" Root fracas at Birmingham's version of the morass that is the Walkabout chain of pubs, came from a reader who asked: "Surely we're missing the big issue here; how did Root get into a nightclub?"

Gladiator, meet Superman

Unknown Brit actor Henry Cavill plays Superman in the latest film version of the superhero's adventures. Russell Crowe met Cavill 13 years ago when the then teenager was an extra on Proof of Life. Crowe sent a care package to Cavill's boarding school when he returned to Australia after the Proof of Life shoot. "I sent him a Wallabies jersey, which is always good for an Englishman, an All Blacks jersey, some Vegemite, and a photograph from Gladiator, and signed it, 'Dear Henry. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'."

Two big questions: 1, Why no Rabbitohs jersey for Cavill from the world's most committed owner/ fan? 2. After watching the Melbourne Storm defile themselves with a giant Superman "S" on the front of their jerseys, could the All Blacks be next? After all, we know there's nothing sacred when it comes to that piece of cloth any more.

Good rea$on$ to stay unhappy

Veteran baseball infielder Ian Stewart is not a happy man. Barely used in the major leagues since being traded to the Chicago Cubs, he has vented his frustration with management on Twitter. But sympathy for him is likely to be in short supply from those struggling to make ends meet after this particular tweet to somebody asking him why he didn't just retire: "why would I quit? I'm making 2 mill in [minor league] AAA like u would give that up by quitting."

Sorry ... not

Sergio Garcia evidently left Tiger Woods an apology note in his locker after failing to hook up for a face-to-face meeting after some racially charged words. We're picking it wasn't as desultory an effort as this famous apology written by then England cricket captain Mike Gatting to Pakistan umpire Shakoor Rana after a flare-up between the two that threatened diplomatic relations between their countries. Rana threatened to call off the test unless Gatting apologised, so he did.

Unkind cut

Chicago resident Frank Miller wanted to show his support for the hometown Blackhawks on their run to ice hockey's Stanley Cup final, which started yesterday. Rather than grow a playoff beard, as the players traditionally do, he decided to grow a playoff lawn. Miller put up a sign on his surburban yard explaining his stance to neighbours. "Playoff lawn", it read, "Won't cut until Hawks win the Cup!" Some people loved it, honking their car horns as they drove past and stopping to take pictures. Other residents were not so impressed - an NBC TV report described the lawn as an eyesore - leading to an unwelcome visitor one night. "I was watching the playoffs with my son and hear a lawn mower going off," Miller said. "I come outside: 'What are you doing?' The guy was cutting my lawn with a giant industrial-sized mower, and he said that the city had come and paid him to cut my lawn." The lesson in all of this: if you leave your lawns long enough, the council will come and do them for you.

- NZ Herald

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