NZ Herald
  • Home
  • Latest news
  • Herald NOW
  • Video
  • New Zealand
  • Sport
  • World
  • Business
  • Entertainment
  • Podcasts
  • Quizzes
  • Opinion
  • Lifestyle
  • Travel
  • Viva
  • Weather

Subscriptions

  • Herald Premium
  • Viva Premium
  • The Listener
  • BusinessDesk

Sections

  • Latest news
  • New Zealand
    • All New Zealand
    • Crime
    • Politics
    • Education
    • Open Justice
    • Scam Update
  • Herald NOW
  • On The Up
  • World
    • All World
    • Australia
    • Asia
    • UK
    • United States
    • Middle East
    • Europe
    • Pacific
  • Business
    • All Business
    • MarketsSharesCurrencyCommoditiesStock TakesCrypto
    • Markets with Madison
    • Media Insider
    • Business analysis
    • Personal financeKiwiSaverInterest ratesTaxInvestment
    • EconomyInflationGDPOfficial cash rateEmployment
    • Small business
    • Business reportsMood of the BoardroomProject AucklandSustainable business and financeCapital markets reportAgribusiness reportInfrastructure reportDynamic business
    • Deloitte Top 200 Awards
    • CompaniesAged CareAgribusinessAirlinesBanking and financeConstructionEnergyFreight and logisticsHealthcareManufacturingMedia and MarketingRetailTelecommunicationsTourism
  • Opinion
    • All Opinion
    • Analysis
    • Editorials
    • Business analysis
    • Premium opinion
    • Letters to the editor
  • Politics
  • Sport
    • All Sport
    • OlympicsParalympics
    • RugbySuper RugbyNPCAll BlacksBlack FernsRugby sevensSchool rugby
    • CricketBlack CapsWhite Ferns
    • Racing
    • NetballSilver Ferns
    • LeagueWarriorsNRL
    • FootballWellington PhoenixAuckland FCAll WhitesFootball FernsEnglish Premier League
    • GolfNZ Open
    • MotorsportFormula 1
    • Boxing
    • UFC
    • BasketballNBABreakersTall BlacksTall Ferns
    • Tennis
    • Cycling
    • Athletics
    • SailingAmerica's CupSailGP
    • Rowing
  • Lifestyle
    • All Lifestyle
    • Viva - Food, fashion & beauty
    • Society Insider
    • Royals
    • Sex & relationships
    • Food & drinkRecipesRecipe collectionsRestaurant reviewsRestaurant bookings
    • Health & wellbeing
    • Fashion & beauty
    • Pets & animals
    • The Selection - Shop the trendsShop fashionShop beautyShop entertainmentShop giftsShop home & living
    • Milford's Investing Place
  • Entertainment
    • All Entertainment
    • TV
    • MoviesMovie reviews
    • MusicMusic reviews
    • BooksBook reviews
    • Culture
    • ReviewsBook reviewsMovie reviewsMusic reviewsRestaurant reviews
  • Travel
    • All Travel
    • News
    • New ZealandNorthlandAucklandWellingtonCanterburyOtago / QueenstownNelson-TasmanBest NZ beaches
    • International travelAustraliaPacific IslandsEuropeUKUSAAfricaAsia
    • Rail holidays
    • Cruise holidays
    • Ski holidays
    • Luxury travel
    • Adventure travel
  • Kāhu Māori news
  • Environment
    • All Environment
    • Our Green Future
  • Talanoa Pacific news
  • Property
    • All Property
    • Property Insider
    • Interest rates tracker
    • Residential property listings
    • Commercial property listings
  • Health
  • Technology
    • All Technology
    • AI
    • Social media
  • Rural
    • All Rural
    • Dairy farming
    • Sheep & beef farming
    • Horticulture
    • Animal health
    • Rural business
    • Rural life
    • Rural technology
    • Opinion
    • Audio & podcasts
  • Weather forecasts
    • All Weather forecasts
    • Kaitaia
    • Whangārei
    • Dargaville
    • Auckland
    • Thames
    • Tauranga
    • Hamilton
    • Whakatāne
    • Rotorua
    • Tokoroa
    • Te Kuiti
    • Taumaranui
    • Taupō
    • Gisborne
    • New Plymouth
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Dannevirke
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Levin
    • Paraparaumu
    • Masterton
    • Wellington
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Blenheim
    • Westport
    • Reefton
    • Kaikōura
    • Greymouth
    • Hokitika
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
    • Wānaka
    • Oamaru
    • Queenstown
    • Dunedin
    • Gore
    • Invercargill
  • Meet the journalists
  • Promotions & competitions
  • OneRoof property listings
  • Driven car news

Puzzles & Quizzes

  • Puzzles
    • All Puzzles
    • Sudoku
    • Code Cracker
    • Crosswords
    • Cryptic crossword
    • Wordsearch
  • Quizzes
    • All Quizzes
    • Morning quiz
    • Afternoon quiz
    • Sports quiz

Regions

  • Northland
    • All Northland
    • Far North
    • Kaitaia
    • Kerikeri
    • Kaikohe
    • Bay of Islands
    • Whangarei
    • Dargaville
    • Kaipara
    • Mangawhai
  • Auckland
  • Waikato
    • All Waikato
    • Hamilton
    • Coromandel & Hauraki
    • Matamata & Piako
    • Cambridge
    • Te Awamutu
    • Tokoroa & South Waikato
    • Taupō & Tūrangi
  • Bay of Plenty
    • All Bay of Plenty
    • Katikati
    • Tauranga
    • Mount Maunganui
    • Pāpāmoa
    • Te Puke
    • Whakatāne
  • Rotorua
  • Hawke's Bay
    • All Hawke's Bay
    • Napier
    • Hastings
    • Havelock North
    • Central Hawke's Bay
    • Wairoa
  • Taranaki
    • All Taranaki
    • Stratford
    • New Plymouth
    • Hāwera
  • Manawatū - Whanganui
    • All Manawatū - Whanganui
    • Whanganui
    • Palmerston North
    • Manawatū
    • Tararua
    • Horowhenua
  • Wellington
    • All Wellington
    • Kapiti
    • Wairarapa
    • Upper Hutt
    • Lower Hutt
  • Nelson & Tasman
    • All Nelson & Tasman
    • Motueka
    • Nelson
    • Tasman
  • Marlborough
  • West Coast
  • Canterbury
    • All Canterbury
    • Kaikōura
    • Christchurch
    • Ashburton
    • Timaru
  • Otago
    • All Otago
    • Oamaru
    • Dunedin
    • Balclutha
    • Alexandra
    • Queenstown
    • Wanaka
  • Southland
    • All Southland
    • Invercargill
    • Gore
    • Stewart Island
  • Gisborne

Media

  • Video
    • All Video
    • NZ news video
    • Herald NOW
    • Business news video
    • Politics news video
    • Sport video
    • World news video
    • Lifestyle video
    • Entertainment video
    • Travel video
    • Markets with Madison
    • Kea Kids news
  • Podcasts
    • All Podcasts
    • The Front Page
    • On the Tiles
    • Ask me Anything
    • The Little Things
  • Cartoons
  • Photo galleries
  • Today's Paper - E-editions
  • Photo sales
  • Classifieds

NZME Network

  • Advertise with NZME
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • BusinessDesk
  • Newstalk ZB
  • Sunlive
  • ZM
  • The Hits
  • Coast
  • Radio Hauraki
  • The Alternative Commentary Collective
  • Gold
  • Flava
  • iHeart Radio
  • Hokonui
  • Radio Wanaka
  • iHeartCountry New Zealand
  • Restaurant Hub
  • NZME Events

SubscribeSign In
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Home / New Zealand

Sideswipe: August 2: Christmas arrives early

Ana Samways
By Ana Samways
Sideswipe - ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz·NZ Herald·
1 Aug, 2013 05:30 PM3 mins to read

Subscribe to listen

Access to Herald Premium articles require a Premium subscription. Subscribe now to listen.
Already a subscriber?  Sign in here

Listening to articles is free for open-access content—explore other articles or learn more about text-to-speech.
‌
Save

    Share this article

"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is,'' writes Nicola. "Westfield Manukau setting up Santa's Grotto on the 31st of July?!''

"Please tell me this isn't what I think it is,'' writes Nicola. "Westfield Manukau setting up Santa's Grotto on the 31st of July?!''

Ana Samways
Opinion by Ana SamwaysLearn more

Encouraging uniform behaviour

A Midland school is banning girls as young as 9 from wearing skirts - because girls are wearing them too short. Walkwood Middle School in Redditch has told girls aged 9 to 13 to wear trousers from September, and to wear shirts like the boys, instead of lighter fabric blouses from next year. Head teacher David Doubtfire said the ban was necessary to get some of the girls to cover up at school because their skirts were far too short, making them appear "unladylike". (Source: BBC.co.uk)

Only thing more horrific than dating a fat person ...

The San Jose Mercury News advice column received this letter: "My son, who is 21, has been dating a girl for three years. When they began dating she was tiny, but she has gained significant weight. She is petite, about 5ft 3in (1.60m), but I'd say she weighs 150 pounds (68kg). My son says it bothers him that she has gained weight, and he has tried to encourage her to work out with him. She has a foot injury that prevents her and she says she has gained weight since going on birth control ... She eats a lot of carbs, especially pizza ... She's endangering her health as well as hurting her appearance ..."

Humour site Bad Advice You Were Hoping For replies: "You've correctly identified the most major obstacle to your son's continued romantic success: the fact that your son's girlfriend has put on more weight than his mother is comfortable with ... The only thing more horrific than dating a fat person is for one's own child to date a fat person, whose distribution of adipose tissue is scientifically proven to block their ability to be funny, lovable, kind, decent and intelligent. One wonders if your son's fat girlfriend has ever considered how hard it is for her boyfriend's mother to be seen in public with someone else who is dating a fat person?"

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Nice picnic, we should've brought the cats

Further to strange choice of picnic sites, Brian Burton of Pukekohe writes: "Many years ago I was driving through the Orana Park Lion Enclosure in Christchurch. We were absolutely horrified to see a car load of people - adults and children - who had pulled up under some trees, had got out and were laying rugs on the ground for a picnic. The next thing, sirens were sounding and three jeeps arrived, men carrying rifles got out and very smartly ushered the people, not only back into their car, but right out of the park. I cannot remember exactly where those big cats, nearly a dozen of them, were, but they were somewhere on the loose nearby."

Picture this #1: Tony Fouhse, an Ottawa based photographer, met Stephanie MacDonald, a young heroin addict, and documented her experience using in Living Thru This...

Picture this #2: I almost feel sorry for former National MP Aaron Gilmore. High up in the Google Image Search ranking because of his recent newsworthiness, his picture has been used to illustrate this story for a Spanish news site...

Picture this #3: "Hmm, not sure about Stardome's new cover pic," tweets Amanda Sheat.

Discover more

Opinion

How to keep warm this winter

28 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

Teeth! Now in 3D!

29 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

Er, I'll get my fasteners later

30 Jul 05:30 PM
Opinion

Do unto others

31 Jul 05:30 PM

Video: Caught picking rhubarb overgrowing from a neighbour's property, this old lady doesn't like being called on it...sounds like she needs an exorcism...(NSFW language)

Video: Minute Earth explains why some countries drive on the left and others the right...

Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.
Save

    Share this article

Latest from New Zealand

Property

Watch: 'My raging backyard river' - North Shore homeowner fears stormwater torrent

11 Jul 06:00 AM
New Zealand

Watch: Shore homeowner fears raging backyard river, council says it can’t pipe stormwater

New Zealand

Flood fears for Auckland

From early mornings to easy living

sponsored
Advertisement
Advertise with NZME.

Latest from New Zealand

Watch: 'My raging backyard river' - North Shore homeowner fears stormwater torrent

Watch: 'My raging backyard river' - North Shore homeowner fears stormwater torrent

11 Jul 06:00 AM

'Land eroding, health and safety of young kids has been at risk for the last three years'.

Watch: Shore homeowner fears raging backyard river, council says it can’t pipe stormwater

Watch: Shore homeowner fears raging backyard river, council says it can’t pipe stormwater

Flood fears for Auckland

Flood fears for Auckland

'Evacuate to higher ground': Emergency alert in Tasman, Vector on standby in Akl
live

'Evacuate to higher ground': Emergency alert in Tasman, Vector on standby in Akl

11 Jul 05:50 AM
Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky
sponsored

Solar bat monitors uncover secrets of Auckland’s night sky

NZ Herald
  • About NZ Herald
  • Meet the journalists
  • Newsletters
  • Classifieds
  • Help & support
  • Contact us
  • House rules
  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms of use
  • Competition terms & conditions
  • Our use of AI
Subscriber Services
  • NZ Herald e-editions
  • Daily puzzles & quizzes
  • Manage your digital subscription
  • Manage your print subscription
  • Subscribe to the NZ Herald newspaper
  • Subscribe to Herald Premium
  • Gift a subscription
  • Subscriber FAQs
  • Subscription terms & conditions
  • Promotions and subscriber benefits
NZME Network
  • The New Zealand Herald
  • The Northland Age
  • The Northern Advocate
  • Waikato Herald
  • Bay of Plenty Times
  • Rotorua Daily Post
  • Hawke's Bay Today
  • Whanganui Chronicle
  • Viva
  • NZ Listener
  • Newstalk ZB
  • BusinessDesk
  • OneRoof
  • Driven Car Guide
  • iHeart Radio
  • Restaurant Hub
NZME
  • About NZME
  • NZME careers
  • Advertise with NZME
  • Digital self-service advertising
  • Book your classified ad
  • Photo sales
  • NZME Events
  • © Copyright 2025 NZME Publishing Limited
TOP