Sideswipe

A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: Feb 21: Those were the days!

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Photo / Supplied
Photo / Supplied

Those were the days!

Richard was very amused to see that his sister still had a set of the Happy Families card game from when we were kids. "This was a promotion by New World/4 Square/Cut Price Store supermarkets sometime in the late 1970s/early 1980s," he says. " But the content doesn't seem to have aged terribly well."

PD Peach explains himself

The Crown Prosecution Service in West Midlands wanted a statement from a witness named PD Peach about an arrest. Officers said PD Peach was a police dog, but they still wanted the statement. So the handler wrote this: "I chase him. I bite him. Bad man. He tasty. Good boy. Good boy Peach." After it was pinned to the wall at West Midlands Police Station it soon found its way on to Facebook and Twitter. The Crown was not amused. (Source: The Daily Edge)

Teen says it with a cake

A 15-year-old came out by baking a "gayke" cake, and gave her parents this note: "Good morning parents, I'm gay.

I've wanted to tell you for a long time. I thought doing it this way would be a piece of cake. I hope you still love me. All my friends know and still love me. Your acceptance would be the icing on the cake. I hope we can look back on this and say, 'boy, this one really takes the cake'. Love, Laurel [sorry for so many puns]."

Bottle opener key ring questionable

A relative got a key for a courtesy car with a bottle opener attached, says Ron, who wonders if that's really such a good idea. "Most soft drinks have twist tops so it is unlikely the key ring is useful for them. I see many sets of keys with attached bottle openers, an unfortunate association of behaviours ..."

Money sure ticket to clubs

A reader writes: "I've gone clubbing at the Lounge Bar in Auckland City with a group of friends and had half my group denied entry without a reason. I soon realised what was going on. In the US this is common practice. Let in the hot girls and the guys with money are sure to follow. This is Auckland. Screen the men you let in! There's no point trying to make your establishment look like a top-notch hottie banquet when the men that you let in are drunken sleazeballs that smell like gumboot sweat."

There is no such thing as affordable housing in Auckland: Radio Live's Duncan Garner challenged Mayor Brown to show him Auckland's affordable housing. This is what he came up with. The high Merchant Quarter apartment block in New Lynn and two grotty units. The cheapest apartment in the 14 storey block is $246,500 for a 47sqm one-bedroom unit without a balcony. A car park is an extra $31K and the average body corp fees average $1786 a year. Breaking it down - if you can get a mortgage, you probably will have a car so you are really looking at $277,000. With a 5% deposit (10% isn't realistic anymore) of $13,500, according to the Westpac mortgage calculator your repayments would be $381 per week plus $35 body corp, which makes it $416 a week. If you are wanting somewhere bigger to safely swing your feline (or maybe have one small quiet child) then there are other options. A more spacious 67sq m two-bedroom with a balcony and car park is $387,000 and will cost you $567 a week. As for the other two properties, they weren't stand alone, they were semi-detached units and the upbeat tour was just Garner being politeness. They were awful and the only person who would buy them would be a slum landlord.

Awful Library books: Some great advice about conversational icebreakers at the supermarket in this self help book, The Divorced Woman's Guide to Meeting New Men

Social Media: The first tweet from New Zealand's Coronial Services was a goodie...

Video: Glasses for the ears...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz

- NZ Herald

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