Sideswipe: Tuesday

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Bureaucracy in action: This message was distributed to Waitemata DHB staff: "Following an injury to a staff member earlier this year it has been recommended that an improved type of toilet roll dispenser be introduced. Over the next few weeks a contract carpenter will be replacing toilet roll dispensers throughout the organisation commencing at Waitakere Hospital. We apologise for any inconvenience caused while this work is undertaken."

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Danish street artists are trying to help anti-Government protesters in Myanmar by auctioning off the nation's junta leader, Than Shwe, on eBay. "General for sale," reads the ad by Jan Egesborg's art group Surrend, with the starting bid at $1.35 million. "Due to his hot and unpredictable temper, we recommend that the new owner chains him after the end of the working day," says the ad, warning: "Be prepared for plate throwing if he hears the word 'monk'!"

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A reader got a lukewarm response to her visit to the Mt Albert Aquatic Centre last week. "I know it's allegedly spring, but isn't it a bit early to turn down the temperature of the water? As regular visitors to the swim facility, my son and I braced ourselves and waded into the main pool, only to head blue-lipped for our towels after a quick thrash about.

You only had to look at the hot pools - standing room only there - to see I wasn't the only one freezing my mammaries off."

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Rugby watchers care about fashion: For a daily reminder of how not to dress, tune in to TV3's rugby coverage every morning and study Shaun Summerfield, says Cameron. "He is resplendent in a navy blue pin-striped suit, multi-coloured striped tie (clashes nicely against the suit) and is elegantly finished off with ... brown slip-on shoes. Now that's stylish."

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A German man who had been drinking heavily at Munich's Oktoberfest beer festival got stuck in a chimney for 12 hours while trying to climb into a friend's apartment, police said. The 27-year-old climbed on to the roof of a neighbouring building about 2am and headed for what he thought was a gap in the wall between the two houses. He found himself sliding almost 30m head-first into a chimney. The man was rescued after a caretaker alerted the Fire Service. He was only slightly injured in the fall but suffered hypothermia after removing his clothes in a bid to climb back out.

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Jo Wilton notices Phil marvelling at cereal-eating, mascara-applying female drivers and wonders if he has also noticed the male shaver/cigarette smoker? "Should this sort of driver have to turn his attention back to driving, he runs the risk of crooked sideburns or a lapful of embers."

Today's Video Webpick: A brilliant spoof song all about the cult of celebrity starlets. Warning: sung to the tune of Nickelback's Rock Star. Watch it here. These are the very best online videos from Ana's online magazine Spare Room.

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