Sideswipe: September 23: Deep space sleep ... on Earth

A reader wonders if this Holden owner realises that, in the medical world, this plate could stand for "positive for herpes simplex virus".
A reader wonders if this Holden owner realises that, in the medical world, this plate could stand for "positive for herpes simplex virus".

Nasa is looking for volunteers to stay in bed for 70 days straight and they'll pay you $18k for your trouble. It's to test the effects of weightlessness and lack of exercise on space travellers. The study simulates the effects of long-duration spaceflight by having test subjects lie in beds for the 70-day period. The beds are tilted head-down at a six-degree angle. According to Dr Roni Cromwell, this tilt which causes body fluids to shift to the upper part of the body, sets off cardiovascular events that are similar to what we see in a space flight.

Internet dating can get weird
"In the smouldering ashes of a marriage break-up I decided to get back out there and meet someone new. So, like many, I gave online dating a try. There wasn't a great deal of choice back then and was by far the biggest, so I dutifully filled their profile pages, uploaded pictures and submitted payment. I almost held my breath with excitement as I clicked the button to find my matches ...

The first match back was 100 per cent: could there really be my perfect partner out there living in the same small town as me!? No, that genius website had decided my perfect match was my ex-wife. I decided I probably wasn't ready to get back on the dating scene after all ..." (Source:

Getting ahead of themselves
The separatist government of the Province of Quebec is passing a law banning government workers from wearing "ostentatious" religious symbols such as hijabs, kippahs, turbans and large crosses. In response a hospital in Oshawa, Ontario, put an ad in the local paper with a smiling woman wearing a hijab and white lab coat. It reads: "We don't care what's on your head. We care what's in it."

An Almighty botch-up
A reader writes: "Big thumbs down to TV3. The last episode of The Almighty Johnsons ended with one of the characters lying on the floor, bleeding from the head, and possibly dying. And what does TV3 do? As the credits roll it screens the ad for next week's finale - showing the character up and about and talking. What's the point of ending on a cliff hanger when 10 seconds later you destroy the illusion?"

Dad jokes.... via txt
Dad jokes.... via txt

Flattery doesn't deceive
"Avoid flattery. A delicate compliment is permissible in conversation, but flattery is broad, coarse and, to sensible people, disgusting. If you flatter your superiors, they will distrust you, thinking you have some selfish end; if you flatter ladies, they will despise you, thinking you have no other conversation." - 37 Conversation Rules for Gentlemen from 1875.

Picture this: A humourist cruising the supermarket aisles pinched one of Dan Cater's Healtheries endorsement stickers, and planted it here...

What new in beauty: A US company has made a NZD$500 glue-on mask as an alternative to 'painful' plastic surgery or 'tiring' make up. The Uniface mask is a "dream fulfilling face that satisfies today's beauty standards," says the company's website. "Giant anime eyes, long lashes, a high nose bridge, and narrow chin and cheeks are all in one product for a lifetime's worth of confidence." Watch the video here (and check out the before and after photos here)...

Retail therapy: If you're broke, but still love to buy stuff, this is the website for you ...(I am so doing ALL my Christmas consuming here)...

Video: Steven Fry and Hugh Laurie's wonderful parody of 80s Australian soap operas ...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at

- NZ Herald

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