Sideswipe: May 2: Personal hardware

When building hardware becomes personal. Photo / Supplied
When building hardware becomes personal. Photo / Supplied

Lamp-post in the way now

A great-grandmother had a driveway laid just days after council contractors put a lamp-post directly at the end of it. Widow Kathleen Annals, who does not own a car but has friends and family visiting, will now have to apply for the new lamp-post to be moved so that her visitors can access the newly laid drive. Mrs Annals said: " The contractor for the driveway said that he was going to put in to the council to have a dropped kerb and he's going to apply for the lamp-post to be moved as well. He thought he would do the drive first then put in for [the lamp-post] to be moved - it's all the wrong way round and now everybody has come and photographed it." A spokeswoman for Hampshire County Council said: "We are grateful to the householder for acknowledging that her driveway was laid some time after the street light column was installed. She has submitted a request this week for work to be carried out on the footway to enable vehicle access to and from the highway. Clearly, this will require the street light to be moved." The council normally charges between £600 and £1200 ($1083 to $2172) for a dropped kerb to be installed. The spokeswoman continued: "We would normally seek to recover the costs associated with work to lower a kerb or moving a street light. However, each case is individually assessed and this is no exception. We will ensure that the works to provide a dropped kerb and to relocate the street light are co-ordinated to keep costs and any inconvenience to a minimum."

Breathalyser cop lays on charm

On Tuesday morning, 10.15, Mead St, Avondale I was stopped for a random breathalyser test by two policemen. One asked me if I was local. I said no, I live near Warkworth and he asked me if my kids went to Mahurangi College? I told him my kids are 31 and 29!! That lovely policeman left me with a huge smile on my face all day!"

Another phantom occupant

"I too have recently had mail addressed to a guy I've never heard of and who has never lived at my address," says another reader. "First came a letter from a petrol station. I phoned them to say they had the wrong person/address and they said a vehicle involved in a petrol drive-off was registered to my property and the person had 10 days to pay for the petrol or it would become a police matter. Next came a certificate of registration for the very same vehicle, so I contacted the NZTA to ask them to remove my address from the record. No can do. They can only update a vehicle's registration details with the correct info, which of course I did not have, and the only action they could take was to flag the address as 'do not send mail' to that address. Their suggestion about the drive-off? Contact the police. I did. They said they can't do anything either. I give up!"

Picture this #1: Not the sharpest sign in the shed. Snapped in Oxfordshire.

Picture this #2: Terrible engagement photos...

Too Much Information: A talkback caller on ZB tells Danny Watson about having getting caught out having an alfresco shag in the paddocks...

Picture this: Nice fancy dress dude...

Video: A perfect parody of the Dove Real Beauty Sketches viral from last month (Here it is). If you haven't seen it, you must watch the clip below.

* Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana here.

- NZ Herald

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