Quotable New Zealanders

"During the early 1980s however, the New Zealand economy was put in the hands of finance ministers due to a filing error, and authorities are still looking for the black box. A social democracy with only one previous owner was asset-stripped and replaced by a series of franchises. Even rugby sides stopped being called Canterbury, Wellington, Otago and Auckland and were instead given the names of animals, colours and weather conditions." (Source: from the late, great John Clarke's A Guide To New Zealand)

Deceptively honest ad

"I thought this ad must've been looking for "flexible" tenants," writes a reader." Photo / Supplied

"I thought this ad must've been looking for 'flexible' tenants," writes a reader. "But a closer look at the listing and I realise they actually are looking for a tenant to fleece! The deal for this property in West Auckland is that it's on the market, so they are reducing the rent to $360 a week to compensate for the lack of privacy and having to keep the place as neat as a pin, and then if it doesn't sell after 45 days, it comes off the market and your rent will go up to $490 per week. Your upfront costs will be $2574 (Bond + Rent + Letting fee). Let the fleecing begin!"

Down the rabbit hole ... and a series of unfortunate consequences

"When I was a kid we lived in a walnut orchard," writes Lazarus on Reddit. "One day we find a family of bunnies ... So, I'm like 6, and I ask my Dad if I can have one and he tells me if I can catch one, I can keep it. He clearly had zero faith in my 6-year-old skills. He was very, very, mistaken. I immediately shoved my whole arm into the rabbit hole, grabbed one by the tail and yanked it out ... so we got an enclosure and kept it ... I took great care of him, feeding him and playing with him every day ... So, after months of this I come home one day to find my Dalmation with a bunny head hanging by one ear out of her mouth, and blood everywhere, bunny parts all over the backyard ... I screamed so loud my Mum told me later she knew the bunny was dead or maimed.

"A few weeks later that same dog got hold of one of my three chickens. I caught her with it held by the neck, but not dead. So my mum wasn't going to let that damn chicken die after the trauma of the bunny, so she took it the vet. But our vet wouldn't see birds, so she had to take it to an exotic bird vet. We sat in the waiting room with all of these people with beautiful expensive exotic birds and everyone going, 'is that a chicken?' ... She paid like $125 in vet bills, kept that chicken in a box for a month in the laundry giving it antibiotics three times a day. It did recover and laid double-yoked eggs for the rest of its life. Also, my Grandma lived with us and she had Alzheimer's and everyday she'd go in the laundry room, then find my mom and say, 'Dear, that dog in the laundry room doesn't look so well'."

Advertisement

Got a Sideswipe?
Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at ana.samways@nzherald.co.nz