You know it's a good festival when you hit midnight on a Monday and say to your friends, "I think I'm going to have an early one, I should head home to write this blog".
And then they look at you weird. And you agree. So you go to just one more show.
Twice now I've walked out of a venue to witness the sun coming up over the pebbled city. And that's on the low end of the average. There's nothing quite like sitting on a bus filled with commuters on their way to work as you try not to fall asleep on the nicely suited man to your left.
It's just that there are too many shows to see. It's actually stupid how many there are. It's impossible. Joseph from FanFic got tapped to do a line-up show, and was on stage at 1.45am. On a Monday night.
I'm doing the best I can, but at a certain point you just become mush. Remember that time you thought it was a good idea to see four movies in a day? And after the second one you start to hate yourself and question your decision-making abilities. Then, as you step out of the fourth, you can't remember which movie was which, and you realise you are not equipped to be an adult.
Well that's what I'm doing. Every day.
Wake up. Bus to town. Decide what stories to do in today's show. Eat lunch. Flyer until 15 minutes before the show. Perform FanFiction. Leave FanFiction. Go see shows. Maybe eat dinner. Rinse and Repeat.
The whole world is here in this cobblestoned capital, and New Zealand is very well represented. We are having a surprisingly good debut season (extra seats had to be added at our Saturday show), but there are so many more great shows here from the homeland.
The Boy With Tape On His Face has returned to wear the Fringe Crown he won last year, comedy wunderkid Rhys Matthewson is making his Edinburgh debut, and a little local show called Squidboy has just been nominated for a TotalTheatre Award.
It's enough to make even the most cynical short poppy proud.
Actually it's funny how patriotic you get when you leave New Zealand. I swore I would never be one of those Kiwis, but I have to admit that I have uttered the defining catch cry of a New Zealander overseas: "The coffee here is terrible."
Because it is, you guys. I love this place, but damn, they've somehow managed to insert caffeine into dirt and call it coffee. Wow it's bad. New Zealand really is paradise.
This Fringe Festival has been one of the best experiences of my life, and I'm incredibly happy I took the chance to come here. I've seen shows that have inspired my soul and, more importantly, made me laugh.
Highlights include Michael Che (100 per cent pure stand up), Bo Burnham (100 per cent pure deconstruction of stand up), Die Roten Punkte (who knew a song called Burger Store Dinosaur could be so good?), and Sarah Pascoe (quote of the festival: "Adulthood is just a prison for children who didn't die"). Sorry, I know that's dark - but it's still genius.
We're in the zone now, and the end is looming. I don't even want to imagine what the come-down is going to be like after this month, but I'm sure I'm going to find out ...
Now please excuse me, I should probably get my three hours of sleep while I can.