Sideswipe: April 9: Jumping on ignorance bandwagon

"I'm sure a handshake and a cup of tea would go a long way", says Colin Graig. Photo / Thinkstock
"I'm sure a handshake and a cup of tea would go a long way", says Colin Graig. Photo / Thinkstock

Jumping on ignorance bandwagon
Attempting to capitalise on the ignorance of Danish MP Marie Krarup, the Conservative Party has revealed its own in a press statement. "Not all visitors to New Zealand are impressed by a bare-bottomed native, making threatening gestures," party leader Colin Craig explains. "As a country seeking to establish positive international relations, cultural welcomes of this nature should be optional to guests," he says, adding: "I'm sure a handshake and a cup of tea would go a long way." What about the haka at rugby tests, Colin? Hatin' on that will be a vote winner, for sure.

Patience, please
Mark Anthony writes: "Driving in peak traffic along Forest Hill Rd on the Shore I came across one car wanting to join the traffic at Liquorland and one opposite holding up traffic as he waited to use the same driveway. I thought I could help both by slowing and waving them in and out. Thumbs-up from the stranded drivers and I'm feeling all is well in the world when the guy behind me sits on his horn.

What is the world coming to when someone can't wait 10 seconds for an act of courtesy?"

The bottle's always full
Chris Thompson writes: "Anchor's new light-proof milk bottle. Smart. Now I can't see how much milk is left."

Exams can't fight Bieber fever
Norwegian schools have moved exams that clashed with Justin Bieber's concerts in the country, fearing some fans would rather ditch exams than miss the concert. Five schools in Aalesund (more than seven hours' drive from the concerts, in Oslo) decided to reschedule, just in case.

Rural drivers to the rescue
The story yesterday about the taxis lighting the airstrip in Peru for emergency take-off reminded a reader of a situation in Rawene in Northland in the early 1990s. "We got a call after dark from a neighbour who was enlisting the help of 4WD owners to go down to the playing fields, which were water-logged and muddy, and form a circle with our lights on high to enable the rescue helicopter to pick up the injured as the result of a major traffic accident. It felt like a scene from MASH!"

Picture this: It's an omen...

Picture this: Hairy chest sweat shirt...

Social media: If you thought being online was all about slagging off strangers (and their opinions) then think again. Some people take a very reasonable approach to discussions on social media. Such politeness is quite amusing...

New Tumblr: The reason my son is crying...

New meme: Pottering is the new planking (and numerous other fly-by-night-wannabes)

Video: Cute kid with a drinking problem...

Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at

- NZ Herald

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