Jaquie Brown: Sitting in constipated traffic

Jaquie Brown. Photo / Supplied
Jaquie Brown. Photo / Supplied

I had an extra hour to myself this week, an unexpected treat, lovely. Only it wasn't lovely nor unexpected. I was trapped in my car, sweating up the upholstery. Along with what felt like the entire population of New Zealand. I was stuck in traffic. Again.

Thanks to our collective car lust, lack of jet packs and general human laziness, our roads are painfully constipated with not a prune in sight.

I've tried honking and swearing, but that got me nowhere, and why should it? It's very rude.

I tried closing my eyes and picturing sipping wine cooler by my pool, but I don't own a pool and it's not 1987. (Plus, when I opened my eyes again I was still behind that clunky Honda with those stupid family stickers. I don't care you've got three kids and you play tennis, move!)

Then I thought, hang on a second Jaquie Brown from the telly, what have you got to complain about? Sitting there with all your limbs and a nice padded bottom for comfort.

So I decided to use my time productively and wrote this column in the car.

(Disclaimer - no I didn't, that would be very dangerous. Or did I? No I didn't. But did I? Oh! The Honda's moving ... signing off)

- Herald on Sunday

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