Stories making headlines across New Zealand at noon include adult shops in Tauranga attributing increased sales to a popular erotic novel, schoolboys in Hawke's Bay are playing a new game which involves flicking testicles, and a large part of Ashburton looks set to be demolished.
The global success of Fifty Shades of Grey has apparently helped broaden people's minds.
Meanwhile the latest schoolyard game in Hawke's Bay involving flicking boys' testicles has apparently elevated to a "full-fisted punch" to the groin.
Over in Ashvegas, about 20 percent of the town may have to be demolished.
Two years ago tomorrow, the town was shaken to its core.
Mike Hockey was enjoying a Father's Day picnic at the beach when two young guys with "bravado" showed up and ran into the ocean and swam into a rip and got swept out to sea.
After being arrested for refusing to pay his motor vehicle registration and licence fees and manufacturing his own car registration plate, Marc Pawley still managed to walk out of the Whangarei District Court a free man.
Hundreds of people awoke in darkness this morning after a power cut in Papamoa. Then if they caught the bus they had to pay more money. Meanwhile a local MP is worried about rotting sleepers infected with a Peruvian fungus.
"Facebook is out of hand now" according to parenting expert Vicki Kirkland who says children as young as 5 are on the social network which was "particularly impactful in terms of social, emotional and cognitive development".
Lance's future looked decidedly bleak, but then he joined the Tagbusters.
Rotorua's latest tourist attraction involves tearing through a forest on a zipline high above the ground.
A witness to an accident in Hawke's Bay watched as cars rolled and spun out of control.
Hundreds turned out to watch nine brass bands march down the street in Wanganui.
Fatigue is apparently a major contributor to crashes on the Rangitikei Highway.
More than 100 Carterton families will form the bedrock of an inaugural Neighbourhood Support Network.
Just days after leaving hospital following brain aneurysm surgery, Ruth Yates' deep fryer blew up when she turned it on.
A semi-retired Christchurch man died after he was standing in the middle of the road taking a photograph.
In Methven, there had been no sign of the fire inside the Ree's house until a friend came running in.
Meanwhile at the Arrowtown Bachelor and Bachelorette Ball people came from as far afield as Auckland and New Plymouth.
Bill Adam always wondered if the taxi emergency button worked.
They had a Slutwalk to the Octagon in Dunedin at the weekend.
The state of roads and footpaths in Oamaru are apparently the main worries of the locals.
Meanwhile in Haast, residents reportedly slept through a shallow 5.3 earthquake located 40km away.
Top trending topics on Twitter in NZ at noon were: #NZFW, Spring, Auckland, New Zealand, 2012 MTV Video Music Awards and Facebook.