In his first in-depth interview since he was found not guilty of murdering his family, David Bain talked about how he coped in prison, how he has readjusted to life as a free man, and how he feels about what happened on June 20, 1994.
Mr Bain spoke eloquently when interviewed for TV3's 60 Minutes programme last night, but was still visibly upset when talking about the brutal slayings of his parents, two sisters and brother, for which he was wrongly jailed for 13 years before he was found not guilty in a second trial held in 2009.
"You can't stop the tears coming because the dreams that you have - your subconscious mind - brings out memories of times with family. I can control it to a greater or lesser degree during my waking hours, but when asleep, the love that I have for my family is still there, and they're still very real and I still have conversations with them and I still go to my mum for support," he said.
He had dealt with his "damaging" time in prison "five minutes at a time", and the thing that stopped him from becoming suicidal was his firm knowledge of his innocence.
"If I used that as the rock within myself, then I could get through anything, and there were times that that was the only thing that stopped me, that brought me up."
Asked how he coped with losing his family, Bain said: "... thinking back over a lot of the circumstances that I found myself in I don't know how I got through them.
"I can only thank my upbringing, my family, my Mum and Dad [who] helped us with our education, with our upbringing again, with university studies, and helped us become the people we are."
He said he'd had a lot of love and respect for his father, Robin, - who David Bain's defence counsel claimed must have killed his family - and struggled to come to terms with them accusing him [Robin] of the murders.
But the evidence was clear that he [Robin] was responsible, he said.
Mr Bain has been working as an engineer at a west Auckland workshop for the past two years. He said it was no easy feat finding work.
He would apply for jobs, and employers would phone him just to have a chat with David Bain, but they wouldn't actually offer him a job, he said.
The TV3 programme contained interviews with his workmates, who described him as humorous, and "one of the guys".
David Bain has also developed a love for horse riding, and often rides along Auckland's west coast.