Whether her son was overseas serving his country or off hunting alone in hazardous terrain, Pam Laing would always worry.
But she knew she could not stop former New Zealand Army soldier Matthew John Laing, 23, doing what he loved.
Mrs Laing's "nightmare" came true when she found out on Monday that he had died on a solo hunting trip in Mt Aspiring National Park. It appeared he fell while hunting chamois on precipitous mountain faces above the Rob Roy Valley.
"It was a shock, a disbelief, that it happened," Mrs Laing told the Herald.
"I always worry, and I always say, 'If I worry, he will always come back safe.' And it didn't happen this time."
Her son's body was found about 6.45pm on Monday - a day after he was reported overdue and a large-scale search was launched. The worst thing for his family would have been never finding his body.
"He just loved being up in the hills any time he could, and if someone couldn't go with him, he would go alone - which we weren't ever keen on, but we couldn't stop him. It was his passion," Mrs Laing said.
"I worried because it's a mother's instinct. But he had no worries, no issues, no fears. It was just one wrong step, I suppose."
Mr Laing, known to friends as "Lainga", was drawn to the high-adrenalin side of life. He had expressed interest in trying out for the elite Special Air Service or police Armed Offenders Squad in the future.
He served two overseas tours in five years with the New Zealand Army, to East Timor and Sinai in Egypt. He rejected opportunities to move up the ranks "because he didn't want to sit at a desk".
"He was very physical. He's always been very fit and energetic and he liked challenges," Mrs Laing said.
"So the army certainly challenged him and made him into a fine young man. So we are very proud of him and what he did in the army. He just decided he needed some time out to decide what to do next."
Mr Laing was planning to go overseas in May for his OE in Canada.
"His father went to Canada as well for an OE trip, so he was almost following in the footsteps - which would have been wonderful - but unfortunately he's not going to live that dream."
"He's really keen on rugby as well so he was hoping to play rugby over there. He really wanted to have that time out and explore, without having to be in a set place."
On a tribute Facebook page, friends yesterday described Mr Laing as a "real lad's lad" and the "most genuine, nicest caring guy".
His death is the latest in a string of tragic accidents in the Upper Clutha region. Dion Latta, 15, died in hospital after a dramatic rescue from a waterfall in the Motatapu Gorge, near Wanaka, on January 2. The body of Wellington tramper Michael Gillard Taylor, 60, who died in a fall on December 31, was found in Mt Aspiring National Park on January 1.
LandSar Wanaka volunteer Phil Melchior said it was his group's fifth operation in nine days, and three of them ended in deaths.