Jacinda Ardern may be nicknamed "The Teef" due to her giant gnashers, and her Labour colleague David Shearer of Mt Albert may despise his counterpart in New Lynn, David Cunliffe, but it's nothing on the Act scale of conflict zones.
In Epsom, John Banks is fighting for survival. His hoardings have gone up with his name plastered across them, but the Act logo is barely visible. His leader, Don Brash, has spent the past week gallivanting in London.
And the party players who are relying on Banks to get the party into Parliament aren't talking to him. Act HQ is littered with Rodney Hide sycophants and no one speaks to Banks. It's said Banks rarely goes into the office. Who could blame him?
Meanwhile, Murray McCully, who was Spy-ed recently holding hands with April Ieremia, has been hobnobbing in Perth at the Foreign Ministers' meetings, before representing John Key at the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting.
Presumably Ieremia will not be attending, which is a shame because Australia's First Bloke, Tim Mathieson, is hosting a BBQ for the First Wives and Girlfriends.
That's followed by sailing and a talk about men's health issues. Throw in a discussion about decriminalising spliffs and perhaps Brash will resurface.