A Kiwi man has taken to
to seek advice on whether or not he should lose his virginity by hiring a sex worker.
Concerned that he is turning 30 next month and his "v card is still unpunched" he details that he's never been with anyone and would "really like to avoid becoming a wizard in a month".
Divulging that he lives in Auckland, works nights, and is "chubby and cannot speak to girls for the life of me", his situation has led to him considering paying for his first sexual encounter.
More than 200 Redditors have responded to his query. Most are supportive of the idea and shared advice from their own experiences with paying for sex.
One user told him how he'd spent "the better part of a year" sleeping with sex workers when he was separating from his first wife.
He said he began to rely on the encounters for his "health and sanity" and suggested the man be open about his situation if he goes ahead with the idea.
He also suggested asking to meet a few women who might appeal to him from escort websites and arrange to have coffee and a chat beforehand.
"Then you can pick whoever you feel most comfortable with and attracted to for the deed itself. Might as well make it special rather than nerve-wracking!" he wrote.
The man responded with gratitude, but others disagreed with the idea of going for coffee: "Who takes a hooker out for coffee? Isn't that called going on a date?" one user commented.
Another man shared that he had lost his virginity with an escort when he was 22.
He described the experience as "no big deal" and said that he "had sex with prostitutes a number of times after that, until I met my first every [sic] girlfriend at 23."
One user advised going for an older woman and being honest with her. But they cautioned that he "try not to go back too much".
Instead, he should "keep going at the online dating thing, join Toast Masters too they have an awesome framework for public speaking which translates to talking with everyone and helps build confidence for the girly bantz".
In a lengthy response, another Redditor revealed his experience visiting a brothel with mates.
He said "as a dude who had a sh*t load of luck in his teens, then didnt get any for most of his 20s and ended up in a simular [sic] position (minus the V card thou), i found a couple mates that were keen on the same idea and rocked on in to a brothel."
He said the group started with drinks in the brothel's lounge where they talked to the women. He said when he explained how nervous he was about proceeding with the experience "one of the girls wanted to look after me. I was actually shaking after the pre-shower with her, but she noticed and understood and really was lovely about it."
In regards to the man's issue with talking to women, he said: "Having those nerves is normal as. My suggestion is to stop thinking about what to say, seriously. Listen to them, ask a few questions about things they are talking about, you dont need to seem like an insightful genius, just general questions ... bring the attention to her. We are all nervous at some point bud, and more so when its someone we actually like. I know its not natural feeling but try just have that reactionary type conversation like you have with friends."
And in response to the man's wizard reference, another user said: "Nothing wrong with being a wizard, man. Nothing makes the ladies melt like a man in a robe and wizard hat."