Do you secretly long to appear in the social pages? Do you dream of having your photograph and name included with all the usual A-list types in the Sunday papers? Well, by following these six simple steps we reckon you can improve your chances of being successfully snapped tenfold.
It goes without saying that smart clothes, glossy hair, some makeup and a bit of bling are pretty much party essentials. But a few cunning tricks will help keep you ahead of the pack. Plenty of bare skin is always a winner, so try to have a decent amount on show. Now, we're not specifically talking cleavage although that clearly never goes amiss. Bare shoulders, bare arms, bare anything, in fact, are more visually interesting than bodies shrouded in light-absorbing black jackets. And think colour: gelato pastels, jewel brights, Pucci prints - anything is better than boring old black. This is a party, not a wake.
If you're skulking in a corner by the restrooms or the bar, you're unlikely to be seen by anyone, let alone the social pages photographer. Stand in the middle of the venue and try to look like you're having a fine old time. If you're chatting to someone attractive you raise your odds. Or attach yourself to a celebrity; they'll be photographed no matter what.
Be on time. If it's a 6.30pm kick-off, get there at 6.25pm. The photographers often have to cover several events in one night so if you turn up once they've left your do, you're plum out of luck. Also, the earlier you arrive the fewer people there will be, therefore you've straight away increased your chances on a purely statistical basis.
Leave the husband at home and take a girlfriend instead. It may sound sexist but two (or more) women wearing colour and showing skin will always look more attractive on the society pages than a dime-a-dozen conventional couple - one of whom will be in a predictable corporate suit.
Attend the slightly more obscure affairs. To put it bluntly, if you're not rock royalty, a musician or professional groupie you won't be snapped at a music event. And if you aren't a designer, model or front-row celeb, your chances are also slim at a glamorous fashion function. Get tickets to fundraisers, gala balls, charity auctions and product launches instead.
We've seen people so desperate to be in the pages that they call the photographers over in a most unbecoming manner. Shouting "Oi" followed by the name of the photographer's newspaper might get their attention but frankly it's low-rent behaviour and strictly not recommended.
Simply smile winningly and say "hi" when the photographer comes your way. Finding out the photographer's name and using it is one way of staying ahead of the crowd as it makes you seem like a society page regular which gives instant credibility.