Blonde at the Bar
Our resident blonde Joanna Hunkin on dating and the social scene

Keeping Score


When will people learn? We've seen it played out on television, in films and in real life. And every time it ends in drama.
If there's one question that should go unasked in any relationship, it is "how many people have you slept with?"
Because let's face it, you're not going to believe what they say anyway, so why bother asking?
Case in point, a reader recently asked me: "Why do women underestimate (lie about) the number of sex partners they have had, whereas men will tell the exact truth (if they can remember them all)?"
Well, firstly, I disagree with you.
I would wager the majority of men know exactly how many women they've slept with and are just as likely to lie as their female counterparts.
While there are some men out there who have had more sexual partners than hot dinners - they are few and far between.
Secondly, just like men, I'm sure some women lie about how many partners they've had.
But to imply that all women do so as a matter of course is as stupid as it is offensive.
Those that do lie have probably learnt to do so from past experience, having discovered it to be the path of least resistance.
Take my friend Mandy for example. She has been seeing her boyfriend Tom for about five months now. A month into the relationship, Tom asked how many people she had slept with.
"Eight," she replied honestly.
Queue awkward tension from Tom, who is greatly put out that Mandy has had more partners than him.
The fact she had only had one partner more than him, which in the grand scheme of things is neither here nor there, was completely lost on him.
Eventually, he got over it. But not before they had endured various arguments over the matter.

Tom is not alone. I have dozens of girlfriends who have suffered the same fallout in similar situations.
So before asking why women lie, perhaps you should ask why do you care?
How does it affect your relationship, knowing how many partners your girlfriend (or boyfriend for that matter) has had?
Some things are best left unsaid. And this, my friends, is one of them.

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