I knew nothing much about them either.
And so it came to pass that for a couple of English lessons we became reasonably well-versed in the Macbethian words of Bill Shakey...and it was with great delight that I later learned two of the harder lads in another form each got caned for wandering past two of the lady teachers standing talking in the quad and remarking loudly "bubble bubble toil and trouble".
That Shakesperian line involved a group of witches around a boiling cauldron.
We touched briefly on Hamlet also but that was dull compared to A Midsummer Night's Dream which was actually rather funny...in a 16th century sort of way.
Characters like Oberon and Titania.
Sort of like The Two Ronnies in funny costumes.
And so, it cameth to pass oh people of the Bay and of populace diverse, that I, myself indeed I should note, became learned in the wordsmithing of the bard from the town upon the waters of Avon...thou thinketh and ponder the glow of verbal light...okay, point taken.
The only thing I remember about Hamlet, apart from a skull being handed about, was the line "to be or not to be, that is the question".
To be what?
To be a Manchester United supporter?
Over my Southampton FC body...not to mention T-shirt.
Mmmm, I wonder if they still teach Shakespeare at school?
Perhaps it may be seen as passed its use-by date...that the lingo is too challenging for youngsters raised not on parchment and paper but i-pads and tablets.
Where 'ru ok for T 2nite?' is more acceptable in terms of asking a chum if thou would like to join you for a journey to a local eating house where nibbles and sustenance will be partaken of.
But TV1 and comic man of imagination and colourful verbage David Mitchell could change that with his marvellous work in the new comedy series Upstart Crow.
You will likely recognise the name from his stints aboard QI and Would I Lie To You? although as he arrives on screen tomorrow night in the wide collars, streams of buttons and blooming sleeves of William Shakespeare you may not immediately recognise him.
Receding hairline, full beard and moustache...but when he opens his mouth, oh yes, then you'll get him.
Working with a script from Ben Elton (so you know there is much laughter afoot) Mitchell excels as a struggling Bill Shakespeare who is trying to get his writing career under way, although he is hamstrung at every turn.
Elton's script will be soaked in Blackadderish notes...and that's backed up by his take on one of Shakespeare's finest...Romeo and Juliette.
His Shakespeare (master Mitchell) initially comes up with a play called 'Romeo and Julian'.
His father, an incompetent businessman and a far from ideal role model, is played by another fine comic name, Harry Enfield.
And for Harry, it's a busy old night as he appears on royal duty earlier at 8.35pm before taking up the Shakesperean pen at 9.10pm.
He first fronts in the guise of Prince Charles in a comedy which I'm sure would have prompted Queen Victoria to declare she was not amused had she been confronted with it.
It is another new series and bears a very stately and sensible title - The Windsors.
There is however very little sense or stateliness about this take on the royal family.
Basically, each and every one of them gets absolutely slaughtered in terms of what the actors playing them come up with.
Had this been in Victoria's day the writers would have been hung, drawn and quartered, without question.
What the current royals think of it is anyone's guess, but it looks like a good laugh.
● The Windsors, TV1 at 8.35pm Thursday: In days of olde this colourful and slightly daffy series would be viewed as plain and simple treason. But hey, the actual royal family have created enough of their own humourous and occasionally contentious moments through the years without the need of a scriptwriter, so I guess it all evens out.
● Upstart Crow, TV1 at 9.10pm Thursday: Now I'm sure, unlike Queen Victoria, William Shakespeare may well have been amused had he been confronted with this light and loose depiction of her early life as a writer...because he would have recognised the penmanship of Ben Elton.
Could get a whole new generation interested in the works of Shakespeare.
ON THE BOX
● Mountain Goats, TV1 at 9.45pm Thursday: Well, this effectively wraps up a brand new trifecta of debut series on TV1, which is both remarkable and slightly bewildering.
I mean, could they not have slotted them in at a similar timeslot on three consecutive weeknights rather than run them one after the other on a Thursday?
Maybe the ratings for TV3's evening of cop shows that night were causing niggles?
However, whatever, it wraps a night of good laughs, with this one all about a slightly out-of-left-field group of Scots who are volunteers for a highlands search and rescue team.
Now that's original.
● Attenborough: The Giant Dinosaur, TV1 at 7pm on Sunday: Thankfully the producers of this remarkable documentary remembered to put a colon in there between Sir David's name and the subject.
I have seen a clip from this and it is a wake-up call for anyone who figured a Tyrannosauris Rex was a big fellow.
This 65 million year-old collection of fossilised dinosaur bones was discovered in Argentina and they form the largest dinosaur ever known to have walked the earth.
Sir David worked in with archaeologists, paleontologists, anatomy makers and animators to create a full reconstruction of the great beast known as a titanosaur.