Every great musician has to start somewhere. For Martin and his band, that somewhere is The Cabana this Friday night.
Yes, the moment all their fans (aka wives) have been waiting for has finally arrived; the first official live performance of the ultimate dad band, Badger!
Picture this: four middle-aged men rocking out to songs from their youth, reliving their glory days of fuller hair and slimmer bodies.
Not only are they performing in their first public concert, but they are the headline act. Given that they are not in their 20s anymore, this has caused some trepidation within the band.
With two bands on before Badger take the stage, will they actually be able to make it to their scheduled performance time without falling asleep? It will be well after 9pm, after all, perhaps even later than 10!
Sarah's advice is to stay away from the tea and load up on the Red Bull instead. What's Sarah doing giving them advice, you ask? Martin has absolutely no idea, as he certainly didn't ask for it.
For some reason, Sarah has taken it upon herself to impart her wisdom on Martin and the band, even though she has never been in a band herself (aside from that one rehearsal as lead singer for Badger, a position she has not been asked to fill again) and can't even clap in time. She even offered to be their manager.
The band have declined this generous proposal and opted for self-management instead. Still, Sarah is "helping" Martin out by passing on one piece of advice from seasoned performers every day.
Things like making sure Badger differentiate themselves from other bands by being unique, and focusing particularly on the first 10 and last 10 seconds of the performance, as that's what the audience will remember.
Martin is particularly fond of that last one, as that's about all the attention span he has. All jokes aside, Sarah has witnessed these guys in action and was suitably impressed.
They might be well past their formative years, but that certainly doesn't hold them back or hinder their performance in any way.
In fact, there's an air of maturity, professionalism and passion that they and other bands that have life experience under their belt bring to the stage which sets them apart from their younger counterparts.
That and the grey hairs. So if you want to check them out for yourself, make sure you head to The Cabana in Napier Friday night. Doors open at 8pm and entry is only $5.