Alright, enough, already. This week we hit the tipping point and if something isn't done quickly we're all gonna descend into a spandex-induced madness. If it's not already too late...
Judging by the recent news perhaps it is. How else to explain the insane blatherings coming out of rivals Marvel and DC in regards to their respective future movie plans? Both companies sounded like crazed masterminds unveiling their villainous schemes for taking over the world.
First, mad old Marvel. Director James Gunn, who has helmed the two Guardians of the Galaxy movies, revealed that he was currently working on a third film. Ok, cool. I guess. Not hugely surprising. They were popular films and movie trilogies are a thing. Ooga-chaka, ooga-ooga indeed.
That wasn't the crazy part. It's what he said next.
"One of the things that I'm doing with creating Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, which will take place after the next two Avengers movies, will help set up the next 10, 20 years of Marvel movies."
Excuse me, what? The next two Avengers movies? Dear gawd. Who can even remember what happened in the last one? I remember it wasn't very good that's what I remember. But that's about it.
Anyway, two more Avengers films then Guardians 3 and then WTF HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MINDS?
"The next 20 years of Marvel movies". Nope. I'm sorry, but that is just too many years of Marvel movies. I can barely sustain my interest now.
Remember when a new Marvel film was an event? Exciting? A must-see? I used to go out of my way to catch these at the cinema. Now, meh. It's no big deal if I miss one. Or two. Or more...
Now I think about it, the last one I saw at the cinema was Doctor Strange, last November. Or, to put it another way, three Marvel films ago.
Okay, technically Logan wasn't a Marvel film, but Wolverine is a Marvel superhero so I'm counting it. Three Marvel movies in nine months is nuts by anyone's standards.
I will confess that I am really looking forward to Thor: Ragnarok in November but that's mainly down to Taika Waititi directing and the fact the story riffs on the Planet Hulk comic series which I loved.
But still, the next 20 years... Holy moly. I understand the need for forward planning but come on. This huge market overstauration can't sustain another 20 years at this super powered pace. Besides, wouldn't ever shifting trends dictate that sooner rather than later we collectively tire of this stuff.
I know that I was yawning when DC dropped their slice of crazy yesterday. It's a sign of how overstuffed this space is that the news of a standalone Joker film merits only an eyeroll and a sigh and not widespread celebration and excitement.
Showing absolutely no imagination whatsoever it was reported that the movie would be an origin story. ZZZZzzzzz. Seriously?
Do we really need to see this? Hell's no. Just get on with it. The most effective Joker was Heath Ledger's non-backstory explained Joker in The Dark Knight. He simply showed up and caused chaos. We didn't need to see how he lost his marbles and gained those scars because it doesn't matter. It's the freaking Joker already, we get it. Don't waste our time. Go.
But boring's not crazy so let's get to DC's recent slice of crazy. The company announced the the new Joker film won't be part of the DCEU, which is their cinematic universe. The DCEU connects all the recent Super-Man, Batman and Wonder Woman films and culminates in their own Avengers-style combo film The Justice League this November.
The DCEU also homes spin-off franchise Suicide Squad and the upcoming Suicide Squad spin-offs Gotham City Sirens and Deadshot.
So the DCEU is kinda big deal for DC. With so many spin-offs spinning-off within it you'd naturally think this new Joker spin-off would star the current Joker as portrayed by Jared Leto. Because that would make sense.
Wrong! DC announced that The Joker won't be part of the DCEU and will cast a new Joker. Presumably if successful it'd get a sequel, and who knows, maybe even it's own spin-off. DC are efectively setting up a rival franchise within their own stable.
For this comic fan it's all getting too complicated and convoluted and confusing. It's exhausting trying to keep up. Marvel with their all-interconnected 20 year plan and DC with their endless variants and spin-offs.
This superhero movie madness needs to end. Or at least chill out for a couple of years. It's been a good run but it's getting to be too much of a good thing. One way or another the insanity has to stop.
I would call out for a hero to save us but I fear that would only contribute to the problem.