Sideswipe: November 10: Keeping you informed

16 comments

Technology is super helpful.

T3 lane is for everyone else but Me

In the past two months of biking down Remuera Rd to work, Brian has compiled a list of apparently commonly held misbeliefs as to a driver's right to use the T3 lane. Highlights include:

• I'm driving a large truck.

• I'm in a large SUV (but am a bit too short to see over the bonnet to the green paint).

• I've got a trailer.

• I'm in a van.

• I'm in a $150,000 vehicle and can afford the paltry fine.

• I'm in a $150 car without WOF/rego and I won't pay the fine.

• I've put my left turn indicator on, that's good for about 800m, right?

• I've got a mate in the passenger seat.

• Little Atticus is late for his morning tai chi class at kindy.

• I know the enforcement officer always stands in exactly the same place, out of the rain at Upland Rd shops, so I can drive 1km in the T3, then pull into the correct lane 100m before I get to him.

Stay tuned for next week's list, "Reasons I can park in the clearway/T3 during rush hour", including gems such as "I'm just getting coffee", "I'm in a van", "I'm going to the doctor" and of course everyone's favourite, "It's ok, it's 8.31am, that's close enough to 9am, right?"

Airline moves to soften possible hard landing

Best trolling of a presidential candidate by a corporate entity goes to ... Royal Jordanian Airlines. Mother Jones reports: "The airline is advertising a sale on fares to the US for people wanting to sneak in for one last visit before 'President Trump' enacts his Muslim ban and slams the door shut."

Being too smart for your own good

What is something that people think makes them look smart, but actually doesn't?

1. Using derisive nicknames for the people they don't agree with. Obummer, Killary Klinton, Donald Drumpf, libtards ...

2. Bragging about their IQ. (When asked about his IQ by the New York Times in 2004, Stephen Hawking said: "I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.")

3. A bowtie without a tuxedo. (When hipsters and Peter Dunne collide you know there's something wrong).

Peter Dunne.
Peter Dunne.


4. Academics that insist on being called Doctor.

5. Jargon ... saying things like "let's workshop this" and "business ecosystem".

6. Setting up your MacBook to do some work in Starbucks.

7. Turmeric lattes, which can help with weight loss and prevent cancer, which is what I call a win/win.

8. Declaring: "I don't own a TV."

9. Wearing a Bluetooth headset.

10. Having a Twitter account.

11. A ministerial portfolio. (Burn!)

(Via Reddit and Twitter)

- NZ Herald

Get the news delivered straight to your inbox

Receive the day’s news, sport and entertainment in our daily email newsletter

SIGN UP NOW

Have your say

1200 characters left

By and large our readers' comments are respectful and courteous. We're sure you'll fit in well.
View commenting guidelines.

Sort by
  • Oldest

© Copyright 2017, NZME. Publishing Limited

Assembled by: (static) on production bpcf05 at 28 Apr 2017 01:08:37 Processing Time: 541ms