A daily look at life's oddities by Ana Samways

Sideswipe: March 29: Better in theory

Steph saw this number plate near St Lukes and wasn't sure whether she should laugh or be slightly offended. Photo / Supplied
Steph saw this number plate near St Lukes and wasn't sure whether she should laugh or be slightly offended. Photo / Supplied

What seems like a great idea until you try it?

1. "Owning a luxury car as a poor person. Got a high mileage BMW because I'd always wanted one. It was cool at first, until it needed routine maintenance. And then it got even worse when it needed repair ... Sadly I sold it to some teenager who also wanted a BMW. I even told him I was getting rid of it because it was too expensive to care for and it had a rear main seal leak. Didn't sway him. He really wanted a BMW."

2. "Being the boss. You walk into the job thinking you are going to make a difference by hiring the right people, standing up for the right thing, inspiring your staff, make money and have prestige. Then you wake up and realise that no matter what you do, half the people hate/envy you and the other half are indifferent and just want a pay cheque."

3. "A GoPro. Bought one thinking about how cool it would be to record my activities from a first-person point of view and upload them to YouTube.

Quickly realised I live a boring life and probably wasted my money."

4. "This was the piece of advice my father decided he had to pass on to me before I went to university. He sat me down in a chair, looked me in the eye and said, 'There is something I learned when I was about your age, and I just think you need to know ... Never, ever, no matter how tempting it is, have sex on a beach.' In the shocked silence I heard my mother mumble from the kitchen, 'Na uh, never'."


Telling tall tales

How to Avoid Huge Ships by Captain John Trimmer is probably the most oft-reviewed maritime industry book on Amazon. But only for reasons of piss-takery. Here are some of the comments by readers: "Before reading this book, my days and nights were spent in terror over the possibility of running into a big ship. I couldn't work, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, all because the thought of a big ship encounter was too horrifying. But now, after reading this book, I feel at ease and totally prepared." Another reviewer found Captain Trimmer's book helpful in his parenting: "As the father of two teenagers, I found this book invaluable. I'm sure other parents here can empathise when I say I shudder at the thought of the increasing presence of huge ships in the lives of my children. I certainly remember the strain I caused so long ago for my own parents when I began experimenting with huge ships." However for one reviewer, the book was disastrous: "I read this book before going on vacation and I couldn't find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined."

No need to write those complicated flower names out in full.
No need to write those complicated flower names out in full.

Picture this: The scorecard and the board showing the slow collapse of a game of drunk Scrabble. The rules were to drink every time the letter S, H, O or T were used.

Video: Nice one, Dad...

Video: A year's worth of sunrises over the German city of Regansburg ...

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Got a Sideswipe? Send your pictures, links and anecdotes to Ana at

- NZ Herald

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