Peaches Geldof's haunting last interview

Peaches Geldof at the 2014 Brit Awards. Photo/AP.
Peaches Geldof at the 2014 Brit Awards. Photo/AP.

In her last interview Peaches Geldof spoke of how she owed her life to her children and said: "I am not about to let them down, not for anyone or anything".

She said that becoming a mother had healed a "rudderless and troubled" childhood, and that she wanted everyone to know parenthood was "the best thing you've ever done".

The interview, less than a month before her death today, with Mother & Baby magazine was centred on attachment parenting - sleeping in the same room, preferably the same bed as the baby, as well as long-term breastfeeding.

Peaches, 25, said she had cried with exhaustion and said that becoming a mother had "broken" her.

The mother of Astala, 24 months and Phaedra, one, told how her own experience of attachment parenting from her nanny before the divorce of her mother Paula and father Bob "saved me from losing it".

She described attachment parenting as responding to a baby's needs and building bonds through closeness and trust.

And she said she received a great deal of help from Sue Cohen, mother of her husband, Tom.

"Becoming a mother was like becoming me, finally," she said.

"After years of struggling to know myself, feeling lost at sea, rudderless and troubled, having babies through which to correct the multiple mistakes of my own traumatic childhood was beyond healing.

"I felt finally anchored in place, with lives that literally depend on me, and I am not about to let them down, not for anyone or anything."

Peaches was supposed to start a regular column offering advice, based on her own experience, of bringing up her children.

The magazine said: "M&B's new columnist... Peaches Geldof! The It Girl turned Earth Mother will be sharing her mummy moments and views on bringing up babies, from attachment parenting to juggling work and family."

She defined attachment parenting as building trust and love with her children, by abandoning what she called "arms-length" advice on parenting.

"Becoming a mother has really broken me, but in the best possible way!" she said.
Peaches Geldof seen with son Phaedra in London

She called looking at her sons' faces the proof that they were miracles, and the best thing any human being could do.

It was her own difficult childhood which proved to her that so-called attachment parenting was the way to bring up children.

She said that her nanny, Nina, had practised close contact parenting, which made up for the difficulties of her parents' divorce.

Peaches called the aftermath of the divorce, in 1996, when she was seven, as "really unstable".

The difficulties were compounded when she was told, aged 13, that she suffered from polycystic ovaries and was unlikely to have children.

The feeling, she said, was like being "robbed" of part of her "womanhood".

Later, she said, she would have conversations with boyfriends about what their future children would look like, but had to bite her tongue from telling them she did not think there would be any.

However she later suffered an ectopic pregnancy. She did not address who the father was in the interview but it happened in 2010, before she was married to Cohen.

'I knew the baby could never be, but I cried for days on end,' she said.

She was living in California at the time but returned to Britain and fell in love with Cohen, who was an old friend.

When she experienced the symptoms of pregnancy, including nausea and cravings, she dismissed them and it was five months before she went to a doctor and was given a pregnancy test.

"After six tests, I began to dare to hope there could be a life inside me," she said.

"But it was only when I saw Astala's perfectly formed, serious little face that I released an out breath of sheer relief and pure joy that I felt I had been holding my whole life until that one perfect moment.'"

Her husband, she said, was in tears and her love for her son was instant and intense.

"I knew then I'd been destined to be a mother, it's just my baby was waiting for the right time, the time I was ready, too."

Peaches said that her next pregnancy was accidental - she had not realised it was possible to conceive while breastfeeding - but no less welcome.

A result of the age difference of just a year between her sons, and her desire for attachment parenting - which has also been advocated by Gwyneth Paltrow - was exhaustion.

She described crying with tiredness and having no time for herself, but said she had no doubt what she had done was the best thing possible to do.

And she also said that she did not live off her father, having always been told by him to earn her own money, while when her husband's band SCUM split, it was difficult for her marriage, as she had to become the main breadwinner.

She praised her husband as having "the patience of a saint" and said simply of her children: "I love loving them and being there for them through everything".

- Daily Mail

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