More than a decade after their marriage went kaput, Nicole Kidman is opening up and reflecting on her time as Mrs. Tom Cruise.
"I was reeling with Tom. I would have gone to the ends of the Earth for him." the Aussie actress, 45, dishes in the latest issue of DuJour magazine.
In hindsight, Kidman says she was "so impulsive and naive" during the early stages of their relationship, adding, "I was totally smitten - I fell madly, passionately in love.
"We were in a bubble, just the two of us," Kidman says. "We became very dependent on one another."
Kidman wed the Top Gun star in 1990, when she was just 23, after meeting on the set of their 1989 film Days of Thunder.
The couple appeared to be solid and adopted two children together - Connor, now 17, and Isabella, now 19. But two months after celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary, Cruise abruptly pulled the plug on the marriage.
"Nic knows why," Cruise was quoted as saying when he filed for divorce in 2001, citing irreconcilable differences.
Kidman said she was completely blindsided by the filing.
"This divorce was not her decision," a rep for the actress said in a statement at the time. "Tom made the move. Nicole is in a state of shock."
She later addressed the breakdown of their union during an appearance on Good Morning America.
"I refuse to let it make me bitter," she said. "I still completely believe in love, and I remain open to anything that will happen to me."
'IT TOOK ME A VERY LONG TIME TO HEAL'
Kidman now says of the divorce: "I thought our life together was perfect. It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system."
In the interview, the actress also admits that she went through a romantic dry spell following the split. When she picked up the Best Actress honour for The Hours at the 2003 Oscars, she attended the ceremony with her parents.
"I realised I didn't want to be alone," she shares. "I wanted to fall in love again, but I wasn't sure I could."
She did, of course. Kidman went on to marry country music star and American Idol judge Keith Urban.
"My life changed. He is a wonderful, caring man and he makes me feel secure," Kidman says of meeting Urban, 45. "We don't ever like to be separated."
Kidman and Urban tied the knot in 2006, in Sydney, and the couple have two daughters together, Sunday Rose and Faith Margaret, who was born via a surrogate.
"Having my baby has been a healing experience," she tells DuJour. "It took me so long to have a child. I feel enormous gratitude. Sunday has healed an enormous amount in me. It's a very private thing, but she just has."
The couple now live what Kidman calls a "wonderful home life" in Nashville.
"There's always music," she says, "Keith plays the guitar and piano and drums. He's always composing music. It's lovely when you have a baby who picks up the drumsticks and plays-wearing angel wings."
Asked if she feels content in her life: "Oh, yes!" she replies. "And it's my life. Before, I was running away from life. Now I embrace it. You never know how long you have. So I cherish every minute."
She continues: "I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I'm living in a friend's house in Nice. My two daughters are with me, Sunday Rose, who's 4, and Faith Margaret, who's 2. My mother is about to fly in from Australia to babysit. Then Keith will be arriving. My family is with me. My family."
Kidman is currently shooting Grace of Monaco, in which she plays late Hollywood legend Princess Grace Kelly.
The film, helmed by director Olivier Dahn, focuses on a six-month period when French premiere Charles de Gaulle and Kelly's husband, Monaco's Prince Rainier III, were at odds over tax laws.
Check out snaps of Kidman channeling Kelly on set here.
And click on over to DuJour.com for her full interview.
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