Tabloid darling Lindsay Lohan, meet delusion. You'll make fabulous bedfellows.
Li-Lo, the troubled one-time/part-time actress/fashion flop, has taken paranoid narcissism to another stratosphere.
Introducing Lindsay, the baby milkaholic. Or so she'd like us to believe.
The Mean Girls star has filed a whopping US$100 million lawsuit against the ad-men over at New York financial company E-Trade, alleging that a boyfriend-stealing, "milkaholic" tot in their latest ad - who happens to be called Lindsay - is modelled on her.
Aye, carumba! *Facepalm*
Li-Lo wants E-Trade to cross her palm with silver to help ease the pain and discomfort caused by the ad.
The ad in question debuted during this year's Super Bowl, and is one of their many ads featuring stock market-savvy tots.
It features a boy apologising to his girlfriend via video for not calling her the night before, the New York Post reports.
"And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn't over?" the baby girl quizzes.
"Lindsay?" he replies, just as a baby girl pops her head in to shot and blabs, "Milk-a-what?"
Li-Lo's lawyer, Stephanie Ovadia, tells the Post that her client deserves the same single name recognition as Oprah or Madonna.
"Many celebrities are known by one name only, and E-Trade is using that knowledge to profit," she said.
"They used the name Lindsay," she added.
"They're using her name as a parody of her life. Why didn't they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message. Everybody's talking about it and saying it's Lindsay Lohan."
Are they? You'll probably find the exclusive rights to that particular brain fart have been snapped up by Li-Lo Island.
"Her name was used for the commercial benefit of E-Trade and she should be compensated fairly for that," she later told E! News.
"She's very upset about it. They did not have permission nor her consent. It's not something that she would have agreed to."
Li-Lo's lawyers filed the lawsuit in Nassau County Supreme Court on Monday and are now seeking an injunction to stop the ad from being broadcast.
They're after $50 million in exemplary damages, and another $50 million in compensatory damages.
An E-Trade spokeswoman says the company "just used a popular baby name that happened to be the name of someone on the account team".
Video: Li-Lo's flap over baby ad
What do you think? Is Lohan justified in filing a lawsuit?
Quote of the day
"I think we're both deeper than normal people - what they think and how they feel.
"He's very grateful for what he has, but he doesn't let it go to his head. I'm like that too. He's a really freaking good actor is what he is. And he's cute - so he's got that." - Miley Cyrus on her boyfriend, Liam Hemsworth.
Deeper than normal people? How impertinent. How very dare you! Take a leap off ego rock, Cyrus.
* New snap from Lady Gaga's new vid for Telephone - the hot collaboration with Beyonce.
* Michael Jackson's former bodyguards claim the late star was a ladies man and entertained them in the back of his limo. Smooth operator.
* Video: Plastic surgery fan Heidi Montag takes aim at self-effacing humour, misses.
* Grey's Anatomy star Katherine Heigl goes brunette, the world still spins.
* Caustic-tongued devil Simon Cowell's rather uncomfortable smooch with fiancé Mezhgan Hussainy on The Tonight Show. Yup, he even kept his eyes open. Lip lock fail and awkward here.
Speaking of Cowell, it looks as though he's re-ignited his feud with Sting.
Remember they crossed swords last year after the singer branded the judge's shows were nothing but "televised karaoke"?
Now Cowell has fired back. He tells Popcrunch.com: "First of all, anybody who at the age of 60 calls himself Sting is an idiot. I find those kind of people... who come from quite humble beginnings and they're (now) living in these stately homes, professing to know everything about everything in the world, and what the contestants may or may not feel...
"They can say that because they've got everything they want in their lives, but what they're really saying is anybody else who needs a shot shouldn't be allowed to do it."
* Sharon Osbourne isn't happy with her breast implants and wants to auction them off on eBay. She says: "I wish I'd never had my breasts done the last time. They've put these bloody great bags in that are too f***ing round - it's like a waterbed on your chest.
"I hate my t**s. I want to have the bags taken out and then I'll put them up on eBay!"
* Has Madonna got her claws into Gerard Butler? A snitch that gate crashed an Oscars party attended by both A-listers says maybe...
The snitch tells Hollywood Life: "She [Madge] was putting on the full-court press, totally charming him - and even challenged him to a dance-off! They were grinding in the middle of the room real close and then Demi [Moore] joined in. It was hot! Gerard was loving the attention."
But we ask, where was the pop matriarch's sprightly hired hand Jesus? Putting the nippers to bed?
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