NZ's dumbest crims fall well out of mastermind category

By Brendan Manning

A Christchurch tagger was likened to  Dumb and Dumber  characters Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.
A Christchurch tagger was likened to Dumb and Dumber characters Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels.

The name should have given it away, but a couple inspired by a TV show called World's Dumbest Criminals failed to heed the warning.

A scheme described by Judge John McDonald as "harebrained" and "doomed from the start" involved Tuki Hanlon robbing his girlfriend's checkout at the Whangarei supermarket where she had worked for two years.

As Jade Kaire-Laybourn scanned Hanlon's two bags of chips, he gave her a typed note in text language saying he had a gun, and she handed over more than $1300.

Police uncovered the scam three weeks later. Kaire-Laybourn was sentenced to four months of home detention for the burglary and a further month for giving police a false statement.

Hanlon was sentenced to 11 months in jail after pleading guilty to three charges of burglary - one for the Countdown incident and two for breaking into baches.

Judge McDonald noted Hanlon hadn't even had the nous to find a bandanna and said the couple "weren't even bright enough to watch a decent criminal programme".

It appears Dannevirke police were aware of the show too. They dubbed David Abraham James Kendrick, then 19, one of the town's dumbest after he crashed his car in July while drunk - then asked for police help to retrieve it.

He attempted to tow the crashed vehicle with a ute, but when he was unable to do so, flagged down a police vehicle for assistance.

Kendrick admitted he had been drinking and said he knew he was over the limit, but just wanted to get his car home after it had crashed.

He was convicted of drink-driving and fined $500, ordered to pay court costs of $132.89, and disqualified from driving for six months.

A burglar was arrested in Hastings in May after a police patrol spotted him walking down a suburban street carrying a 107cm plasma television. The arrest was one of eight in 24 hours after a spate of burglaries.

Christchurch police likened the actions of a cannabis-smoking tagger to the movie Dumb and Dumber after finding the culprit asleep in his car with bright green paint on his hands.

Kaiapoi Sergeant Mike Brooklands said it appeared the suspect and his companion fell asleep after drinking too much and smoking cannabis. He could hardly contain his laughter after rousing Samuel More, 33. Police were alerted after a member of the public found graffiti sprayed over rocks and a bin at Kairaki Beach.

- NZ Herald

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