Peter Bromhead: new Dictionary of Business Cliches

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Cartoon / Peter Bromhead
Cartoon / Peter Bromhead

"At the end of the day ... think outside the box," suggested my new business associate.

"You mean ... look for a win-win situation?" I replied.

"Exactly! We're going to make this thing go viral, raise the bar, run it up the flagpole and see who salutes."

"We'll certainly need to give it 110 per cent," I agreed.

"I'm confident that by creating a paradigm shift, it'll go ballistic."

After a pause, he added, "I can't wait for the rubber to hit the road."

"What if we hit a glass ceiling?" I asked anxiously.

"We may need to reboot your negativity on that one," he suggested, wagging a finger at me.

"OK ..." I assured him. "I'll stay positive and keep talking bricks and mortar."

"Now you're cooking with gas!" he exclaimed.

"So, what's the secret sauce?" I asked eagerly.

""Well ..." he suggested thoughtfully, "first, we need to put in some blue-sky thinking ... take a helicopter view and synergise our thoughts and never forget, ... hindsight is 20/20 vision."

"It's always important to see the big picture!" I proclaimed.

"Yep, once we've nailed our geographical footprint, we can declare our modus operandi."

"Not forgetting, the importance of sticking to our knitting ..." I wisely suggested.

"Of course! And remember," he reassured me, "when the big BS hits the fan, I'm in the trenches with you all the way."

"I appreciate your frankness," I gratefully replied.

"Transparency's the name of the game - with nobody slipping under the radar," he assured me.

"So, what's our game changing plan?" I inquired eagerly.

"Well, I guess we let the genie out of the bottle and lock into mission critical time," he said, gravely.

"We'll need to hit the ground running on marketing," I emphasised.

"Absolutely," he said, adding, "seamless integration of our business strategy is the only way to bring value to the table."

"Exactly. So we need to find the tipping point during the beta phase, that'll save us from ever be forced to go offline," I concurred.

"We're not in the business of rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic," he concluded, "especially now we're all on the same page and have got our ducks in a row."

As he departed my office, he reassured me again with his enthusiasm.

"I can't wait to continue rightsizing our new Dictionary of Business Cliches," he said, shaking my hand.

"I like a team player who understands failure is not an option," I gratefully replied.

- NZ Herald

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