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Paul Casserly: TV's best quotes: 'We'll do something fun, like Rainbow's End?'

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TV blogger Paul Casserly looks at the 10 best TV quotes of the last few weeks, from "You're annoying me" to "I have said and done many stupid things in my life..."

Oscar Kightley as Harry in crime series 'Harry'. Photo / Supplied
Oscar Kightley as Harry in crime series 'Harry'. Photo / Supplied

Jeepers creepers it's June already. We're another month closer to Christmas, and ultimately death. Luckily we have another collection of quips, slips and general gibberish to distract you with. Here's what the people who pop up on our telly had to say. Can you guess who said what?


1. "He didn't do that thing you do to me with your tongue."

2. "You're annoying me. I'm going to tell my lawyer on you."

3. "We'll do something fun, like Rainbow's End?"

4. "I have said and done many stupid things in my life."

5. "The Obama comment was pitiful."

6. "One man is as good as another so long as he's not a nigger or a Chinaman."

7. "Excuse my French, but I don't give a shit about that."

8. "One thing you need to practice is your pitch, harmonizing and staying in key. Apart from that you're the whole package."

9. "Maybe everyone in la la land doesn't think they are in la la land."

10. "You have to understand that innocent people are being killed in Iraq and Pakistan."

Answers.

1."He didn't do that thing you do to me with your tongue."

The 'you' in question is Game of Thrones hunk/bastard Jon Snow, who knows the way to a woman's heart isn't through her stomach, although it is near it.

2. "You're annoying me. I'm going to tell my lawyer on you."

I didn't catch her name, but she was an allegedly drunk older lady who had been collared by the cops on Police Ten 7 and she wasn't happy.

3. "We'll do something fun, like Rainbow's End?"

Said Harry (Oscar Kightley) in an attempt to placate his daughter, who naturally wasn't being bought off with a trip to Manukau's povo version of Disneyland. Wisely the world's glummest cop didn't even bother to mention Kelly Tarlton's or MOTAT.

4. "I have said and done many stupid things in my life."

There but for the grace of Gilmore. This was part of Aaron (Don't you know who I am) Gilmore's swansong speech as he exited stage left. Best part was the shout out to his missus: "Babe, I'm coming home."

5. "The Obama comment was pitiful."

So reckoned Robert Fisk commenting on Barack supporting Israeli airstrikes on Syria, "If the opposite happened it would be world war three." He was on Democracy Now on Face TV (Wednesday's 10.30pm). I know Sorkin's The Newsroom is meant to be based on Keith Olbermann but it bears a more than a passing resemblance to Democracy Now.

6."One man is as good as another so long as he's not a nigger or a Chinaman."

Winston Peters began his re-election campaign in earnest last week but surprisingly he didn't utter those words. They were actually said by American President Harry Truman. This came from Oliver Stone's Untold History of America, which is screening on the History Channel. Truman, who wrote these words as a young man, was, according to Stone, "just a product of his time." Given that the last pope was in the Hitler youth, that's a fair point really.

7. "Excuse my French, but I don't give a shit about that."

It's been a lousy season for the Warriors, so when coach Matt Elliot was asked if he was worried about his job, he snapped a little. This was following a 62 to 4 drubbing, so it was an understandable reaction as well as being a pertinent question.

8. "One thing you need to practice is your pitch, harmonizing and staying in key. Apart from that you're the whole package."

Said judge Stan Walker on the X Factor.

9. "Maybe everyone in la la land doesn't think they are in la la land."

There was a lovely moment while delivering those words that Mary seemed to realise that she herself might actually be in la la land. Mary, last name Magdalene, is married to Jesus, also known as AJ. The Australian couple claim to be Jesus and Mary, reincarnated, are running a 'church' in Queensland that some are calling a cult. John Hudson from Sunday was dispatched to talk to the holy couple, who seemed like fairly likeable shysters. Mary even recalled - from her past life - watching her husband Jesus dying on the cross. Hudson asked what it was like: "what do you think it was like? It was awful."

10. "You have to understand that innocent people are being killed in Iraq and Pakistan."

Said a man on the street to the BBC in the aftermath of the awful murder of the solider in London at the hands of those mad buggers with blood literally all over their hands. It was in no way an excuse but it was relevant. Most of the reporting up to this point had failed to consider the 'why'.

Louis CK was saying something along the same lines on his comedy special this month with his "of course but maybe" routine.

"Of course if you're fighting for your country and you get shot and hurt, it's a terrible thing, of course, of course, but maybe, if you pick up a gun and go to another country and you get shot it's not weird. Maybe if you get shot by the guy you're shooting at, it's a tiny bit your fault." And while we're on the subject of terrorism, the excellent documentary Manhunt: The search for Bin Laden which screened on Soho recently had an interesting statistic regarding the threat of terror attacks on the west. "Since 9/11 some 17 US citizens have been killed in America by Jihadist terrorists, in the same period 300 Americans have died in bathtub drownings."

- NZ Herald

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