One could write an entire novel about the drama of the final ten minutes up at a soggy Ngamatapouri on Saturday.
But in the final account - an account that seemed to stretch forever on the stopwatch and even had fierce debate about the accuracy of the fulltime scoreboard - Settler's Honey Ngamatapouri claimed their first Tasman Tanning Premier scalp as they came from nowhere to upend a shocked PGG Wrightson/Balance Taihape 31-30.
First-five Te Tua Kemp coolly nailed a 25m penalty, deep into injury time on the watch of referee Glen Collins, despite the sideline official's watch showing 80 minutes had previously elapsed.
Taihape players still felt they had prevailed 32-31 and the scoreboard was wrong, until Ngamatapouri manager Gerald Pearce re-crunched his numbers to confirm both sides had scored four tries, with Kemp's five straight kicks proving the difference.
Even Ngamatapouri coach Richard Carston was interviewed straight afterwards under the premise his team had finished just short.
"We haven't got our front row on there, missing four forwards with injury and concussion," he said.
"We'll get there, they all know it's a step up, and we'll step up in the second round."
However, moments later it was confirmed the home side got up, having overcome a tactical kicking disadvantage in the first half and the near destruction of their scrum in the third quarter when Taihape won tighthead after tighthead.
However, Taihape won so many scrums because there were a lot of them - as they struggled in the slippery conditions and made costly fumbles with nobody immune, from newcomers to veterans.
It gave Ngamatapouri just enough hope their talented Fijian ball runners could spark something in the midfield, and they did just that with three breakaway tries against the run of play in the first half, led by the dominant pairing of Jim Seruwalu and Samu Kubunavanua, who finally returned to the backline with Isireli Baleitavuku sitting out a one-match suspension.
Ngamatapouri managed to survive Seruwalu's professional foul sinbinning in the second half, and while team benefactor Henry Mathews was put under enormous pressure at scrumtime as a makeshift prop facing Taihape's specialist Hadlee Hay-Horton, the home side eventually got their technique sorted just enough to stabilise.
That was crucial for No8 Bryn Hudson to go over from a 5m scrum and narrow the gap to two points entering the final 10 minutes.
Adding injuries to insult, Taihape lost some key forwards in the second half, none more costly than Tremaine Gilbert, who came off the bench before re-injuring his foot.
"We never imposed ourselves," said Taihape coach Kerry Whale.
"Immediately when [Gilbert] came on we had impact, now we've lost him for the season."
"Good on [Ngamatapouri]. They plug up their weak players with the good players.
"We disintegrated like we did against Pirates."
In a match that fluctuated between rain and sunshine, Taihape were getting the better of the kicking duel through fullback Dane Whale and first-five Tom Wells, until Kubunanvaua showed talent can trump territory as he made a beautiful in-and-away to slip Taihape's line and send a reverse flick pass for Kemp to dive over.
Taihape immediately replied as Whale's bomb was spilled by his opposite Emosi Vucago, with Whale hacking it ahead to win the race under the posts.
Taihape's third talented kicker, winger Te Rangi-Tapu McLeod, added a long-range penalty for 10-7, then after Taihape turned Ngamatapouri's scrum, Wells spread the ball to second-five Jaye Flaws, who went at the corner flag and dragged the cover defenders over with him.
Wells' sideline conversion had Taihape humming nicely, but Ngamatapouri's game breakers again turned scraps into banquet as Seruwalu leapt to secure a bomb, and when play switched back infield, Kubunvanua was gone with another in-and-away to score beside the posts.
Getting a penalty in Ngamatapouri's 10m, Wells made a no-look quick tap to a charging Luke Whale, with the flanker just short, and Taihape switched to their props on either side of the ruck for Wiremu Cotterill to dive over.
Taihape continued to dominate territory, but Ngamatapouri kept up the hard tackling and when Kubunavanua swamped Flaws, the ball was loose and winger Jesse Kemp suddenly found himself against Taihape's slower forwards - gliding around them on a 65m dash to the posts for 22-21 at halftime.
With Gilbert now on, Taihape regained their composure and worked forward off a penalty lineout, with athletic lock Hamish Bennett holding it at the back of the maul until scooting blindside to dive into the water logged in-goal.
Taihape then won scrum after scrum, although the slippery ball and Ngamatapouri's desperate tackling held them out, with Wells missing one penalty kick into the rain but landing another after Seruwalu's sinbinning for 30-21 and a man advantage.
But Ngamatapouri would not lay down as Kubunvanua became their sole go-to attacker, while Taihape were content to regather and kick for territory, not feeling in danger despite their own mounting turnovers and injuries.
While Ngamatapouri had the smaller bench, their reserves made the bigger impact as Josaia Dawai and Api Ratigolea came on and looked dangerous with ball in hand, while Seruwalu rejoined Kubunavanua as they searched for an opening.
Dawai was barely stopped by a superb Dane Whale cover tackle at the chalk, and then lock Corey Furness claimed a barge over try, which Collins appeared to signal before ruling he was held up.
Hudson backed himself from the scrum and dragged two men over, with Kemp adding a great conversion under pressure.
With Collins the sole judge of time, both sides spilled the ball, although Taihape seemed safe when centre Cyrus Paringatai put an excellent grubber kick into Ngamatapouri's corner flag, while Kemp took a pass back into his 22m so his clearance saw a lineout in the dangerzone.
But Taihape kept turning the ball back over and Ngamatapouri's Fijian flyers led the breakout before again spilling it.
One Dane Whale clearing kick went dead in-goal and from the scrum back near halfway, Seruwalu ran over four tacklers on a big charge, with Taihape infringing at the breakdown and Kemp landing the kick to send the locals up on the hill into raptures.
Taihape's bench, who had been screaming at Collins for fulltime, now roared that two minutes remained, but Ngamatapouri would clear the ball out twice to bring a pulsating game to its conclusion.
Settlers Honey Ngamatapouri 31 (Te Tua Kemp, Samu Kubunavanua, Jesse Kemp, Bryn Hudson tries; Kemp pen, 4 con) bt PGG Wrightson/Balance Taihape 30 (Dane Whale, Jaye Flaws, Wiremu Cotterill, Hamish Bennett tries; Tom Wells pen, 2 con, Te Rangi-Tapu McLeod pen). HT: 22-21 Taihape.