A man walks into a bar dressed as a cow… Nick Phipps has done well to try to draw a line under his antics at the Woollahra Hotel during his recent stag party but it won't be the end of the issue as his Waratahs team prepare for a high-stakes match against the Blues.
This game is no laughing matter for either team. Waratahs coach Daryl Gibson is unlikely to have pulled punches in reminding his players of their responsibilities as he seeks a rare win over a New Zealand team at Sydney's Brookvale Oval on Saturday, while Blues coach Tana Umaga and his team will probably be looking forward to escaping the spotlight in Auckland where they have lost all four matches this season.
Assuming the Crusaders, who have won their last five matches, beat the Rebels, who have lost their last four, in Melbourne on Friday, the Waratahs will be expected to snap what will be a 37-match losing streak by Australian teams against their New Zealand counterparts, an extraordinary run.
Phipps' recent costumed indiscretion – he has admitted urinating against the hotel bar while severely under the influence – is not a hanging offence by any means but it is a very unwelcome distraction for Gibson and the Waratahs whom have only just doused the raging media bushfire that was fullback Israel Folau's comments on social media regarding where he believes homosexuals are headed in the afterlife.
Phipps, who described himself as a "goose" at the Waratahs headquarters today, has rightly taken complete responsibility for his actions. "I was a bloody idiot," he said. "I want everyone to know how sorry I am."
Phipps, a 29-year old halfback who has played 61 tests for the Wallabies, has been stood down as captain but will be available to play against the Blues. Phipps is no longer the most dynamic of players but he is an experienced member of a Waratahs team who top the Australian conference but have shown real vulnerabilities this season, including in a 29-0 shut-out by the Lions at Allianz Stadium recently.
There will be expectations in Australia that the Waratahs beat the Blues, who are second to last on the Super Rugby table and have gone from bad to worse this season.
But, for all the Blues' faults, and there are many – including an inability to consistently put pressure on opposition teams – they will find the expected warm and dry weather in Sydney this week much more to their liking than the torrential rain and gale-like conditions at Eden Park during their 20-13 defeat to the Jaguares last Saturday.
The expectations on them now are so low that even a good performance in a defeat would be acceptable to most of their supporters, but it is at times like these that they have shown to be at their most dangerous. Few gave them a prayer before their victory over the Lions in Johannesburg after they arrived late in the city due to a plane issue in Auckland, but they did it.
If they do it again this time the joke will well and truly be on Australian rugby.