Michael Jordan is a tough target to roast.
There's not a lot of entryways into humiliating a man who, by all standards, is the picture of athletic, business and social dominance. There is 40 feet of cigar smoke and stacked $100 bills between him and the rest of society.
But Kevin Hart tried anyway. The comedian went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Monday night and told a story about the time he went onstage at Jordan's own charity auction and torched him in front of a less-than-amused crowd.
Naturally, he targeted Jordan's only weakness: fashion.
"I lock eyes with Mike, he's in the front row, and I start teasing him," Hart said. "I was like, 'Man, what age do you get to where it's okay to wear your pants that high and nobody addresses it?'.
"I said 'You're telling me I'm the only one that thinks Mike's (pants) are past the legal limit for waist?'
"But it was like fun jokes."
Hart went on to flambe Jordan's tiny lip-stache. Mike apparently wasn't happy.
"He had the little square moustache at the time. I was like 'What is that? Looks like a thumb print.' Nobody's laughing," Hart said. "[Jordan's] actually giving me the look like 'You gonna keep on going? You ain't gonna stop?'"
"I don't care, I was laughing, I was having a good time," Hart added.
"I may or may not have been drunk at the time. So I hit him with one more and nobody said nothing. When I see him I'm like 'what up, Mike?'
"And he shook my hand and he squeezed it real hard and he said 'You have a good day.'"
Somebody had to do it, Kevin. And you took the charge upon yourself.