Herald writers Niall Anderson and Cameron McMillan witnessed a fair share of the Commonwealth Games action over the past 11 days (Yes, even some rhythmic gymnastics).
Therefore they were the most qualified in the Herald office to take on the monumental, arbitrary and definitive task of ranking every New Zealand athlete and team that competed on the Gold Coast. All decisions are final.
1. Joelle King (Squash)
Accomplishments: Gold in the singles and women's doubles, and bronze in the mixed doubles, playing on every day of the Commonwealth Games.
2. Sam Webster (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Gold in the individual and team sprint, fifth in the keirin, arguably most thoughtful Kiwi speaker at the Games
3-21. Black Sticks Women (Hockey)
Accomplishments: New Zealand's first Commonwealth Games gold in hockey
22. Eddie Dawkins (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Gold in team sprint, silver in 1000m time trial, bronze in men's Keirin, 11th in men's sprint
23. David Nyika (Boxing)
Accomplishments: First New Zealander to win back-to-back Commonwealth Games golds in different weight classes
24. Sophie Pascoe (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Gold in the SB9 100m breaststroke and Sm10 200m IM
25. Tom Walsh (Shot Put)
Accomplishments: Gold, breaking the Games Record in the process
26. Natasha Hansen (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in the women's sprint, silver in team sprint, bronze in keirin, fourth in 500m time trial
27. Sam Gaze (Mountain Biking/Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Gold in mountain biking, 10th in the road race, made some people mad
28. David Liti (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Gold in the +105kg despite having to sleep in a single bed all Games
29-41. Women's Sevens (Uh, Sevens)
Accomplishments: Won the first ever women's Commonwealth Games sevens gold medal
42-54. Men's Sevens (Also Sevens)
Accomplishments: Won their fifth ever men's Commonwealth Games sevens gold medal
55. Campbell Stewart (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in 40k points race, silver in Men's 15km scratch race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit, most vocal thanker of his teammates at the Games
56. Julia Ratcliffe (Hammer Throw)
Accomplishments: Gold medal, probably NZ's only Ivy League educated medalist in 2018
57. Ethan Mitchell (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Gold in men's team sprint, fifth in men's individual sprint
58. Jo Edwards (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Gold in the women's singles, didn't get out of group in pairs
59. Emma Cumming (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in team sprint, Bronze in 500m time trial. Sixth in sprint, 11th in keirin
60. Paul Coll (Squash)
Accomplishments: Silver in singles, bronze in mixed doubles, lost QF in men's doubles
61. Georgia Williams (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Broke NZ's 20 year drought by claiming silver in the women's road race
62. Valerie Adams (Shot Put)
Accomplishments: A silver medal gave her a fifth Commonwealth Games gong
63. Eliza McCartney (Pole Vault)
Accomplishments: A silver medal, and the world record for "Longest time spent smiling"
64. Linda Villumsen (Road cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in the time trial, 12th in the road race
65. Alana Barber (Race walking)
Accomplishments: A silver medal in the 20km walk
66. Anton Cooper (Mountain biking)
Accomplishments: A silver medal, moral superiority
67-85. Black Sticks Men (Hockey)
Accomplishments: Tied their best ever Games finish with a silver medal
86. Kirstie James (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, fifth in individual pursuit, fifth in women's scratch
87. Olivia Podmore (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in women's team sprint, fifth in sprint, sixth in keirin
88. Lewis Clareburt (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Bronze in 400m IM, becoming the leading "Where did he come from?" candidate of the Games. Seventh in 200m IM, seventh in 200 butterfly, didn't get out of heats in 200m backstroke
89. Hamish Bond (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Bronze medal in time trial, only athlete to be strangely compared to a Japanese baseball player
90. Ben O'Dea (Beach Volleyball)
Accomplishments: Claimed New Zealand's first beach volleyball bronze
91. Amanda Landers-Murphy (Squash)
Accomplishments: Made round of 16 in singles, won gold in women's doubles, lost round of 16 in mixed doubles
92. Holly Robinson (Javelin)
Accomplishments: Won silver in the para-javelin; threw a world record but was then beaten on the last throw by her lone rival
93. Sam O'Dea (Beach Volleyball)
Accomplishments: Also claimed New Zealand's first beach volleyball bronze
94. Dylan Kennett (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Bronze in individual pursuit, annoyed Australians, seventh in 1000m time trial, 15th in men's scratch race
95. Ryan Sissons (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: Fifth in men's race, bronze in mixed team relay
96. Rushlee Buchanan (Track and road cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, 26th in road race, fifth in time trial, fifth in women's 25km points race
97. Bryony Botha (Track and road cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, ninth in individual pursuit, DNF in road race
98. Racquel Sheath (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Silver in team pursuit, 15th in 10km scratch race, 17th in 25km points race
99-111. Tall Ferns (Basketball)
Accomplishments: Won bronze, would have won silver if not for an unfortunate draw
112. Nicole Van der Kaay (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: Seventh in women's race, bronze in mixed team relay
113. Tayler Reid (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: 11th in men's race, bronze in mixed team relay
114. Andrea Hewitt (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: 13th in women's race, bronze in mixed team relay
115. Siositina Hakeai (Discus)
Accomplishments: Fourth for second straight Games, beaten for bronze on the final throw
116. Ben Oliver (Mountain biking)
Accomplishments: Finished in fourth, managed to avoid all controversy
117. Sharlotte Lucas (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Finished fourth, agonisingly missing the medals as a $67-1 outsider
118. Zac Williams (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Fourth in 1000m time trial
119. Jake Robertson (10,000 metres)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth, in a national record time, breaking his brother's record
120. Patrick Mailata (Boxing)
Accomplishments: Won a bronze medal – winning two fights, before being edged in an enthralling semifinal
121. Alexis Prichard (Boxing)
Accomplishments: Won a bronze medal – winning two fights
122. Leroy Hindley (Boxing)
Accomplishments: Won two fights, but lost his quarter-final
123. Barry Wynks (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Silver in the B6/B7/B8 triples
124. Bruce Wakefield (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Silver in the B6/B7/B8 triples
125. Mark Noble (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Silver in the B6/B7/B8 triples
126. Bradlee Ashby (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Fifth in 400m IM, Fifth in 200 IM, missed out on two other finals
127. Daniel Hunter (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made two finals, finished fifth in 50m butterfly, eight in 100m freestyle, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay
128. Elizabeth Cui (Diving)
Accomplishments: Fourth in synchronised 3m springboard, 12th in 3m springboard final, 13th in 1m springboard
129. Laurel Hubbard (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Was on track to storm to gold before being injured attempting a Games record, made significant headway for inclusivity in sport
130. Bailey Rogers (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Fourth in the women's 75kg
131. Brad Mathas (800 metres)
Accomplishments: Made final of the 800 metres, ran a personal best, finished fifth
132. Hayden McCormick (Road cycling)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in the road race
133. Nicholas Kergozou (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: 13th in individual pursuit, 17th in 15km scratch race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
134. Regan Gough (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Ninth in 40km points race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
135. Tom Sexton (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: 10th in 40km points race, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
136. Jared Gray (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: 12th in men's individual pursuit, disqualified when riding for bronze in team pursuit
137. James Oram (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Fifth in time trial, 11th in road race
138-150. Tall Blacks (Basketball)
Accomplishments: Won bronze after losing to Canada as 25 point favourites in the semifinal
151. Troy Garton (Boxing)
Accomplishments: Won one fight, which was enough to claim bronze in the 60kg division, did so on a torn ACL.
152. Tasmyn Benny (Boxing)
Accomplishments: Won one fight, which was enough to claim bronze in the 48kg division
153. Richard Hadlow (Boxing)
Accomplishments: One win in the 64kg division, lost in round of 16
154. Ryan Scaife (Boxing)
Accomplishments: One win in the 75kg division, lost in round of 16
155. Jesse Reynolds (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished fourth in the S9 100m freestyle, fourth in the SB8 100m breaststroke, and sixth in S9 100m freestyle
156. Sam Perry (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished sixth in the 50m butterfly, made two other semifinals, fourth in men's 4x100m freestyle relay
157. Corey Main (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished seventh in the 100m backstroke, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay, failed to make 200m backstroke final
158. Carina Doyle (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished eighth in the 400m freestyle, made another semifinal, fourth in 4x100m freestyle relay
159. Celyn Edwards (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished fourth in the SM8 200m IM, sixth in SB8 100m breaststoke
160. Chris Arbuthnott (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in the S9 100m Freestyle, seventh in S9 100m backstroke
161. Quentin Rew (Walking)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in the 20km walk in a season best time
162. Sam Belkin (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: Lost first fight, won repechage, but then lost bronze medal bout
163. Ethan Dick (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: 11th in individual all round, fifth in floor, sixth in men's team
164. Devy Dyson (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: Sixth in rings, sixth in men's team
165. Kyleab Ellis (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: Seventh in men's vault, sixth in men's team
166. Alethea Boon (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: The former gymnast reached personal bests to finish fifth in 58kg category
167. Kelsie Wills (Beach Volleyball)
Accomplishments: Unbeaten in pool play, lost QF
168. Shaunna Polley (Beach Volleyball)
Accomplishments: Unbeaten in pool play, lost QF
169. Tracey Lambrechs (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Fifth in 90kg category
170. Phillipa Patterson (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Sixth in 53kg category
171. Andrea Hams (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Sixth in 69kg category
172. Jack Bauer (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: 13th in the men's road race
173. Shane Archbold (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: Sixth in the men's road race
174. John Snowden (Shooting)
Accomplishments: Fifth in the Queen's Prize Pairs, Eighth in the Queen's Prize individual
175. Ryan Taylor (Shooting)
Accomplishments: Fifth in 50m rifle prone
176. Brian Carter (Shooting)
Accomplishments: Fifth in the Queen's Prize Pairs, 15th in the Queen's Prize individual
177. Ellesse Andrews (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: Sixth in 3000m individual pursuit, 12th in 500m time trial
178. Yu Qian Goh (Diving)
Accomplishments: Fourth in synchronised 3m springboard
179. Michaela Drummond (Track Cycling)
Accomplishments: 10th in 25km points race, 10th in 10km scratch race
180. Cameron McTaggart (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Seventh in 77kg category
181. Ianne Guinares (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Seventh in 62kg category
182. Camille Buscomb (Athletics)
Accomplishments: 12th in 5000m, 14th in 10,000m
183. Samara Sheppard (Mountain Biking)
Accomplishments: Ninth in the drama-free women's event
184. Rebecca Spence (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: 10th in the women's race
185. Olivia McTaggart (Pole Vault)
Accomplishments: Finished ninth in the final, 10cm shy of her personal best
186. Ben Langton Burnell (Javelin)
Accomplishments: Made the final, finished 10th
187. Campbell Grayson (Squash)
Accomplishments: Lost in the round of 16 in singles, lost QF in men's doubles
188. Natalie Rooney (Shooting)
Accomplishments: Missed women's trap final after losing a shoot-out in qualifying, eventually finished seventh
189. Chloe Tipple (Shooting)
Accomplishments: Finished seventh in the women's skeet
190. Helena Gasson (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Didn't make a final, but made two semifinals, finished fourth in women's 4x100m freestyle relay, and fourth in 4x100m medley relay
191. Laticia Transom (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made two semifinals, finished fourth in women's 4x100m freestyle relay
192. Bobbi Gichard (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made two semifinals, finished sixth in 4x100m medley relay
193. Bronagh Ryan (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made two semifinals, finished sixth in 4x100m medley relay
194. Matthew Stanley (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made one semifinal, finished fourth in men's 4x100m freestyle relay
195. Georgia Marris (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Made one semifinal, finished fourth in women's 4x100m freestyle relay
196. Tupou Neiufi (Swimming)
Accomplishments: Finished sixth in the S9 100m backstroke
197. Jason Christie (Road cycling)
Accomplishments: Finished 16th in the men's road race despite crashing
198. Tony Dodds (Triathlon)
Accomplishments: Finished 16th in men's triathlon
199. Kate McIlroy (Road Cycling)
Accomplishments: In her third Comm Games in a third different sport, she finished 19th in the road race
200. Zac Millar (Squash)
Accomplishments: Won two matches before losing in the round of 16 in mixed doubles
201. Janet Hunt (Shooting)
Accomplishments: 10th in the women's rifle prone
202. Shaye Boddington (Diving)
Accomplishments: Finished 12th in 1m springboard
203. Mikhail Koudinov (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: 15th in men's individual all round, sixth in men's team
204. Stella Ashcroft (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: 13th in women's individual all round
205. David Bishop (Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: One of the surprise medallists in 2014 couldn't repeat, finishing sixth in men's team
206. Joseph Millar (200 metres)
Accomplishments: Made the semifinals where he finished sixth - more than half a second off his personal best
207. Anton Down-Jenkins (Diving)
Accomplishments: Eighth in synchronised 3m springboard
208. Angie Petty (800 metres)
Accomplishments: Failed to get out of her heat
209. Stella Ebert (Rhythmic Gymnastics)
Accomplishments: 22nd in Individual Qualification
210. Cameron French (400 metre hurdles)
Accomplishments: Finished sixth in his heat, more than a second off his personal best, missed final
211. Liam Stone (Diving)
Accomplishments: Eighth in synchronised 3m springboard
212. Shannon McIlroy (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost singles QF, Lost pairs QF
213. Blake Signal (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in men's pair, Lost QF in men's four
214. Ali Forsyth (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in men's triples, Lost QF in men's triples
215. Mike Nagy (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in men's four, Lost QF in men's triples
216. Paul Girdler (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in men's four, Lost QF in men's triples
217. Mandy Boyd (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in women's fours, lost QF in women's triples
218. Katelyn Inch (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in women's fours, lost QF in women's triples
219. Tayla Bruce (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Lost QF in women's fours, lost QF in women's triples
220. Val Smith (Lawn Bowls)
Accomplishments: Didn't get out of group in pairs, lost QF in women's fours
221. Sally Johnston (Shooting)
Accomplishments: The defending Commonwealth champion finished 11th in 50m rifle prone
222. Owen Robinson (Shooting)
Accomplishments: 12th in trap qualifying, two shots short of making the final
223. Scot Wilson (Shooting)
Accomplishments: 11th in double trap, five shots short of making the final
224. Yue Zhao (Shooting)
Accomplishments: 14th in 50m pistol, two of his five rounds were sound but hurt by inconsistency
225. Akash Khullar (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: Lost in quarter-finals and had just one win - but it was a thrashing of Mauritius opponent
226. Myles Browne-Cole (Shooting)
Accomplishments: 19th in trap qualifying left him midway in the field
227. Evan Williams (Squash)
Accomplishments: Will forever appear in the nightmares of Cayman Islands player Jacob Kelly after handing him a 3-0 thrashing. But lost round of 32 in singles and the round of 16 in men's doubles
228. Oliver Leydon-Davis (Badminton)
Accomplishments: One victory then lost in round of 16. Appears higher because he's the older sibling
229. Susannah Leydon-Davis (Badminton)
Accomplishments: One victory then lost in round of 16
230. Lance Beddoes (Squash)
Accomplishments: Lost men's doubles round of 16. Taught the St Vincent and the Grenadines a lesson or two about doubles squash
231. Bradly Knipe (Cycling track)
Accomplishments: 21st in men's keirin which sounds good until you realise he finished last in both his heat and repechage
232. Ann Muir (Lawn bowls)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
233. David Stallard (Lawn bowls)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
234. Peter Blick (Lawn bowls)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
235. Sue Curran (Lawn bowls)
Accomplishments: Finished fifth in B2/B3 pairs group with two wins and three defeats
236. Tayla Ford (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: One win, three defeats meant no repeat of the medal in Glasgow
237. Stanislav Chalaev (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Had one successful snatch lift to sit in fifth but withdrew before clean and jerk due to being 'chronically dehydrated'
238. Richard Patterson (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Three failures in the snatch for the defending gold medallist. A sad ending to his career
239. Vester Villalon (Weightlifting)
Accomplishments: Didn't register a clean and jerk attempt which is pretty important
240. Toby Fitzpatrick (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: Lost his only fight
241. Ana Moceyawa (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: Lost both group fights. Didn't advance
242. Brahm Richards (Wrestling)
Accomplishments: Lost both group fights. Didn't advance
243. Nicholas Southgate (Athletics)
Accomplishments: Three false vaults at his selected height
244-256. Silver Ferns (netball)
Accomplishments: None