BY MICHAEL BOTUR
Tupac Amaru Shakur didn't have the best judgement in life. He went to jail for something really nasty, wielded a baseball bat during a fight at his own concert, and was named after violent terrorists. There's one thing he got right, though: respect for his mummy.
Now, my mum doesn't resemble Tupac's mum, at first glance. The differences are subtle but distinct. For example, Tupac's mum was an African American radical who hung out with terrorists, whereas my mum is a British doctor and weekend gardener who enjoys Ruth Rendell and Shaun The Sheep.
All mamas show love for their sons in different ways. For example, Tupac's mum stopped smoking crack for her son; my mum shows her love by ironing my undies.
What they have in common is both mums raised precocious young men who couldn't keep their mouths shut, so this Mother's Day, I'd like us all to read the following, pause and reflect on how great our mums are, whether you've got more of an Afeni Shakur-type mum or a Sally Botur-style mum.
Most impressive thing about Tupac's Mum: She ran with a gang of prison-breaking bank robbers on the FBI's Most-Wanted list
Most impressive thing about Mike's mum: Unrivalled collection of little glass hedgehogs on the kitchen windowsill.
Bravest thing Tupac's mum ever did: Appeared on stage to unite with Biggie's mum Voletta Wallace against violence
Bravest thing Sally Botur ever did: Told little Mikey's French horn teacher he wouldn't be coming back (cause little Mikey was too pussy to do it himself.)
Biggest tribute Tupac ever gave to his mum: Released the single 'Dear Mama,' which went platinum and was in 2010 added to the National Recording Registry in the US Library of Congress as a cultural item of national significance. In the song, Tupac proclaims "Even though I sell rocks/It feels good putting money in your mailbox."
Biggest tribute Mike ever gave his mum: Acknowledging Sally Botur in this Mother's Day column thousands will read. Love you, Skwumshine! xoxo