Women need to be unapologetic about taking time for self-care and exercising.
It's good for their health. Crucial for mental health reasons too.
So says Personal Trainer (PT) James Smith, author of Not a Diet Book.
Chatting via skype from Sydney, Smith tells me about a trend he has noticed over years of working as a trainer. Lots of mum clients often feel guilty about taking time for themselves to exercise.
"They come to me and try to justify why they want to get their life in order.
"I stop them in their tracks. They don't want to get fitter. I think, no, you want your self-esteem and self-confidence back…"
He says all parents should take time to exercise. It underpins their wellbeing. He reckons blokes generally do this without a problem, while women can tend to feel guilt-ridden about kid-free time.
Smith recommends mums get support from their partner, a friend or family member. They need self-care time away from the family. He says it should be a non-negotiable condition when couples enter a relationship. Both parties should vow to back each other to have the time they need away from the kids.
And no, fitness is not about getting an Instagram-worthy six-pack. It's about protecting each parent's mental health, self-esteem and confidence.
"No parent should have to give up their self-esteem in order to raise a child," he says.
As a parent of three kids, I back what Smith is saying. I've witnessed that same trend he's talking about and seen a lot of women unravel because of it — often years later.
I like Smith's book. It's a no B.S guide on how to lose weight, train smarter, avoid fad diets, de-code supplements… and how to transform.
The book is different to other diet or fitness books — and I know this because I own hundreds and wrote one too. It's penned by a bloke who says exactly what he thinks — and doesn't give a toss if he offends. It's refreshing and often very funny.
In his own words: "I am often crass, bold and sometimes come across like a prick". He couldn't care less about people-pleasing. His motto: "Be yourself. It's exhausting if you're not".
Verdict on the book? Buy it. Smith knows his stuff on health — and it's entertaining.
JAMES SMITH'S TOP PT PEEVES
1: PTs who make clients do exercises they hate. Instead, listen to client's feedback and tailor-make workouts.
2: Girls chasing six-pack abs for the aesthetic. This isn't often attainable or worth the body stress.
3: PTs who post pictures on social media only at their peak, hiding cellulite.
4: Home workouts everywhere by people doing a poor job.
5: People who promote B.S supplements to make a buck.
Rachel is a wellness expert, and author of the book Balance: Food, Health and Happiness via inspiredhealth.co.nz Instagram @rachelgrunwell