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Boy. The Reverend Ed Tomlinson's haemorrhoids must have been playing up something chronic when he penned his diatribe against modern funerals.

The Anglican vicar wrote a dyspeptic blog, bemoaning the fact that he had to officiate in funeral after funeral where pop songs are played and bad poetry is read as bodies of people with no hope of resurrection are "popped into the oven".

"Once upon a time even funerals at the crem would have been sincerely Christian in character," Tomlinson wrote. "But that was another England, a time when Christianity was worshipped on these shores."

Give me a break. The time when you could only get to heaven if you believed God was an old, white Englishman are over.

If he feels so strongly about people using their own words and their own choice of music to say goodbye, he shouldn't be doing the funerals. Just say no, Ed. Leave it to open-minded celebrants.

* www.kerrewoodham.com

- HERALD ON SUNDAY