COMMENT
We cross Green Square, the plaza at the heart of Tripoli, dodging the swarming taxis.
We nip past the men selling freshly roasted nuts and the couples out for romantic strolls, and reach our goal.
There on a giant poster is an image of the Great Leader sitting behind the wheel of a Volkswagen Beetle and careering along a street chucking pieces of paper from his window.
Sadly it is not advertising a Libyan remake of The Love Bug; it's just another billboard proclaiming the mighty deeds of the man in charge here, Colonel Muammar Gaddafi.
Our tour guide explains that, in 1969, "The Leader" (locals feel uncomfortable saying his name aloud) travelled across the country in a VW, stirring up revolutionary fervour against the then ruler King Idris.
I insist on having my picture taken against this odd backdrop. But just as I'm about to say "goat's cheese", a man rushes up, arms waving. "Be careful," he warns us. "If the police see you, there will be trouble."
It turns out he's a Serb who, like me, recently saw this as a photo opportunity and ended up getting an ear-bashing from the local constabulary when he flashed his camera.
I am in Tripoli because the country is making some modest efforts to attract Western tourists. In part, this is because Libya is planning to bid for the 2010 World Cup.
The bid is being championed by the colonel's son, soccer-crazy Al-Saadi Gaddafi, who fronts the Libyan investment firm that owns a chunk of the Italian team Juventus.
Although the words "fat" and "chance" come to mind when considering the likelihood of the bid succeeding, it is forcing the country to improve some of its tourist amenities.
The most spectacular breakthrough is the opening of the British-designed Corinthia Bab Africa, the city's first Western-standard five-star hotel.
A joint venture between the Libyans and Corinthia, an international chain based in Malta, the hotel has all you would expect of a five-star joint: large gym, indoor and outdoor pools, a business centre, chic bedrooms decorated with just enough Arabic touches to let you know where you are in the world, and six restaurants.
It also has a lot of paintings of Mr Big.
But back to the square.
The architecture around Green Square tells the history of Libya, from the ancient fort that now houses the National Museum, to the Arabic market and modern offices.
But the most dominant buildings are the imposing banks and apartment blocks constructed in the severe Fascist style. These were erected after Mussolini invaded Libya in the 1920s, claiming it for his new Roman empire.
The Italians remained in control until World War II when the Brits and Americans rolled into town, but during their brief reign they had a powerful effect on Tripoli, not all of it bad.
For example, walk down the Italianate boulevards and you will find cafes serving cappuccinos. And in Tripoli the standard way to say goodbye is still a simple "ciao".
Nowadays the shops are all open and well stocked with cheap clothes and electronic goodies. But we are told the city was virtually mothballed during the peak years of United Nations sanctions from 1992 to 1999. (The sanctions are suspended and could soon be dropped.)
These crippling controls followed Libya's failure to hand over two suspects following the blowing up of Pan Am flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland, in 1988.
Before we leave Green Square, we amble around the National Museum which holds a collection of amazing treasures from the country's Phoenician and Roman past.
But the greatest sight is the colonel's VW Beetle, the one from the poster. It's squeezed in among all the Roman treasures - just to make sure you realise that the guy now in charge is just as mighty as any of those old emperors.
It's hard to believe any Libyan is taken in by such foolery. And there is a lot of foolery at play in Libya, a feeling that things are just a bit bonkers.
Take the hotel, the Corinthia Bab Africa. For the first few weeks it was the Corinthia Towers but then the name was changed to something more in line with Gaddafi's obsession to be the leader not of the Arab world (he feels his Arab brothers let him down during the years of full sanctions) but of Africa. "Bab Africa" means "Gateway to Africa".
Then there's the business with the cameras. How can you encourage tourism, let alone the world's footie fans, if you don't want people taking holiday snaps? Even the hotel warns that "you are likely to have your camera confiscated if you point it at police stations or major ports".
It's not Tripoli, though, that holds the real excitement for visitors. Dotted along the Libyan coast are the spectacular remains of vast Phoenician and Roman cities. The most celebrated of these is Leptis Magna.
But when we visit this Unesco World Heritage Site the first thing we notice is the rubbish.
Wherever you look, the countryside is strewn with plastic bags snared on shrubs, ditches filled with mineral-water bottles, scraps of paper caught on the wind.
The scale and grandeur are awesome. There is also a beautiful museum. Biggest thing there? A giant cut-out of Gaddafi.
- INDEPENDENT
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