What a soap opera extraordinaire we have been variously treated to and horrified by from the Conservative Party and Colin Craig this week. Like any soap opera there are shadowy villains, unrequited feelings, vengeance, wrath, wronged wives, blood letting, heroes, and much misuse of the word "refuted".
Actually, there are no heroes in this one. But there are some unwitting winners from the plight of Craig and the Conservative Party. The first is Prime Minister John Key who must have breathed a deep sigh of relief at his wisdom in hindsight not to do an electoral deal with Craig before the last election. The short-term cost of about 4 per cent of the vote on the right was wasted.
The second winner is NZ First's Winston Peters. He spent much of the 2014 campaign railing against Craig as the young pretender, a charlatan who had swept in, stolen NZ First policies and even stolen the kind of scoop NZ First likes to specialise in - the looming sale of a major farm to foreign interests.
His problem with Craig was Craig's target audience included some of the redneck elements in society that Peters likes to think he has a monopoly over. So if the Conservatives crash and burn, that is 4 per cent of a vote that is likely to split between National, Act and NZ First. Yes, Act. When Craig first set up the Conservative Party it was effectively the anti-Act right wing party.
Craig had been wooed by Act for his money if not as leader after Don Brash stood down following the 2008 election. Craig appeared to believe Act's brand was too tainted so he opted to set up his own party. He even considered taking Banks on in Epsom in an attempt to drive Act into oblivion altogether. Ironically, it is now the Conservative brand that is tainted and at greater risk of oblivion.
Craig's problem came to light after a blog printed material pertinent to the resignation of his former press secretary Rachel MacGregor and some board members began to speak their concerns about that resignation. Craig's attempts to clear it up only served to smear the glass more.
If, as Craig and MacGregor insist, there was no sexual infidelity his sins fall short of the likes of Brash, Auckland's Mayor Len Brown and former US President Bill Clinton.
If there was evidence needed of Craig's naivety in such matters, it was in his inability to comprehend the message he was sending by turning up to the press conference with his wife by his side and admitting to "inappropriate conduct". His subsequent refusal to explain that conduct was a case of too little information proving more damaging than too much. It simply led to the inference of an extra marital affair - a conclusion also drawn by MacGregor who tweeted Craig was trying to "frame me as a mistress" as she strenuously denied any sexual relationship.
It took a rather more direct question line before Craig said there was no sexual relationship. It possibly speaks to his naivety that he had not thought he had to spell that out because he had not thought anyone would even suspect it of him, a good Christian man with family values in his political holster. He professed to be gobsmacked anyone had even considered it.
Instead whatever was happening appeared to be articulated through the quaintly old-fashioned means of poems full of futile yearning and having his hair preened. As things stand, both sides of the story now claim they want to lift the confidentiality agreement that previously bound them.
That will ensure a new tranche of twists and turns, many of which seem likely to be prurient. Craig appears to be interested in full disclosure to try to ensure there is no doubt that claims of sexual harassment complaints and a payout were unfounded. He has admitted some of the material will embarrass him. He insists he can survive.
"Nothing is over until it's over," he piped rather optimistically on Paul Henry this week. He may well simply be going through the denial stage of grief over the death of his political hopes. Of course if Craig and the Conservatives do survive there are glimmers of hope for a future relationship with National. National's leader has a reputation for tweaking other people's hair.
Craig has a reputation for enjoying having his hair tweaked. It could well be a match made in heaven.