My best friends gave me a selfie stick for Christmas, and a fair bit of cheek. "It's cos we noticed pretty much every photo you take is a selfie," said Matt. "In all of your photos you're all by yourself."
"So you've noticed I'm always alone?" I said, my friends all in hysterics. "Thank you so much."
Read more: Is he just selfie-obsessed or a narcissistic psychopath?
I really appreciate the observation. Or not. Without wanting to sound ungrateful, getting a selfie stick to facilitate your apparent perma-loneliness is only marginally better than getting a juice diet book and a Magic Bullet for Christmas.
Of course, I didn't have a leg to stand on. One glance at my Instagram, Twitter and Facebook feeds confirmed my friends' observations.
I couldn't do much but laugh and concede that again, as always, they're right.
I will claim many things to justify my selfies: I live alone. I work alone. I travel a lot, alone.
But United States researchers reckon it could be a sign of something rather more sinister. A study published by the University of Ohio this week suggests that men with social media feeds like mine are more likely to display narcissistic and psychopathic qualities.
It doesn't mean every guy guilty of taking the occasional selfie is pulling the wings off butterflies; just that guys obsessed with selfies are a bit more self-obsessed.
It's not rocket science, right? If you consider the preening, filtering and editing some men undertake before posting their own images online, it's little wonder researchers reckon we're breeding a generation of more narcissistic men.
To me, there's one clear antidote. You should be allowed a selfie stick only if you also have a group of friends who'll always haul you back down to Earth.
Cos from now on, whenever I pick up my selfie stick, I won't be sucking in my cheeks or making sultry eyes. I'll be thinking of my mates and their Christmas lashings. Thanks guys.
• Jack Tame is on Newstalk ZB, Saturdays, 9am-midday