The man accused of murdering Bayden Williams has described how he wanted to die during a serious accident before the alleged murder, which left him with severe burns.
Adrian Phillips accidentally set himself alight while pouring accelerant on a bonfire around Christmas time, 2018, which left him with such debilitating injuries it caused him significant mental distress, his defence counsel claims.
Phillips took the stand for the first time at his trial in the High Court at Hamilton for the murder of Williams on August 5, 2020.
The 24-year-old's thighs, hands, arms and chest were badly burned in the accident which an emotional Phillips recounted to the jury.
"When I was on fire I wanted it to hurry up and kill me because I didn't want it to take too long," he said with his mouth quivering.
Phillips said he initially froze and then rolled around on the ground to put the fire out.
The flames burned off his clothing and left skin hanging and "searing hot".
Phillips ran to the shower and his friend called an ambulance.
He spent three weeks in Waikato Hospital and underwent four surgeries with skin grafts on his left hand.
Simple tasks such as feeding and toileting himself became painful and difficult and he relied on his girlfriend Macy Randall to be his nurse.
The Ngatea man returned to work as a mechanic in February 2019 but said he was embarrassed by the "silly mistake".
He became afraid of fires and car accidents and defence counsel Hannah Stuart said it was then Phillips began having psychological problems.
Phillips said he began having episodes of extreme stress, became overwhelmed with crowds and some noises.
He became less tolerant and during one bad episode he suffered sweating, shaking, difficulty breathing and feeling outside of himself.
The court heard he "feared losing control".
Phillips said he began banging his head against the wall or hitting his head with his hands because there was so much going on in his head.
He began having daily suicidal thoughts and went to his GP who prescribed medication for depression.
"I just couldn't see a good future. I couldn't see myself being happy."
Before the accident Phillips said he and Williams were "mates", with he and Macy visiting her sister Chloe Randall and her partner Williams at least once a month.
But when Williams and Chloe, who by late 2019 had a baby son, split up, tensions began to mount among the families.
When Chloe's father Peter Randall and Phillips went to Williams' house in Tairua in January 2020 to retrieve some of Chloe's belongings Williams and his father Lance Williams turned up.
The court heard Lance Williams carried out a "brutal assault" on Peter Randall and Phillips was also assaulted by the younger Williams.
This incident, which coincided with Phillips' spiralling mental health, contributed to his belief that Williams owed him an apology.
Stuart said Phillips bought a gun to hunt, not because he planned to kill Williams.
She said it was clear Phillips had acted in self-defence when he shot Williams on that fateful night.
She said Phillips' mental health was poor and he had earlier smoked cannabis when he decided to confront Williams on the Kopu-Hikuai Rd that night.
As Phillips tailed Williams the pair drove erratically before Williams braked, causing Phillips - who was following too closely - to hit the back of Williams' car.
It sent the vehicle spinning out of control and down a bank.
That's when Stuart said Williams scrambled out of the car and, with his headlights still on and illuminating the 20-year-old's silhouette - screamed at Phillips that he would kill him.
"I'm gonna cut you up. I'm going to f**ken kill you."
Williams was known for carrying concealed weapons including a knife either hanging around his neck or in a bum bag, Stuart said.
Phillips also knew Williams had assaulted and been abusive to Chloe Randall in the past.
Stuart said Williams charged up the bank toward Phillips who fired a warning shot into the ground.
When it didn't stop Williams he fired another shot, hitting Williams in the thigh.
Stuart said the younger man still continued to charge up the steepish bank and Phillips shot him again, this time in the shoulder.
When Williams reached the roadside, Stuart said Phillips felt he had no choice but to shoot Williams again.
The shot to Williams' head was immediately fatal.
Phillips moved Williams' body and drove off, stopping to check his damaged car and throwing the gun away.
He also threw away the ammunition and after he told Macy Randall what happened, he showered and she called the police.
He told the police the incident had been like a "dream".
Stuart said her client could not have predicted and did not plan to shoot Williams.
Phillips continues to be questioned by his lead defence counsel, Ron Mansfield, QC.