Kim Hetaraka spends her days trying to help other homeless people. Photo / Michael Craig
Kim Hetaraka spends her days trying to help other homeless people. Photo / Michael Craig
The grandmother of a teenage girl who was tortured and sadistically killed in a derelict state house says she was too innocent for this “ugly world”.
“I feel blessed Demi doesn’t have to live and deal with the ugliness anymore,” says Kim Hetaraka of her eldest grandchild and street kid Dimetrius Pairama, who was 17 in 2018 when she was killed.
“I don’t want my mokos to grow up in this world. We grew up in it and we are still coping and dealing with day-to-day struggles. I didn’t want that for Demi, I am glad she is with her papa - not how she got there, but I am happy she is not here.”
The Pairama whānau are still seeking justice for the teenager after sitting through two trials with the likelihood of a third after a jury couldn’t agree last week on a verdict on murder or manslaughter.
In her first interview with the Herald, Hetaraka, 59, a former street kid herself and now a peer support worker with Lifewise, a non-profit organisation in Auckland that helps the homeless, feels guilty she couldn’t protect her granddaughter.
Dimetrius Pairama's body was found in a vacant house in South Auckland.
“I feel angry and hurt I wasn’t there for Demi. No one was. I warned her bad things can happen on the streets, but she didn’t listen. You can get beaten, raped or killed because you are alone. I know this, I was abandoned at 14 when my parents died and was forced to live on the streets. I didn’t want her to go through that, but she didn’t listen. She lost her life because she wasn’t strong and people took advantage of her vulnerability.”
Pairama’s mother, Lena Hetaraka-Pairama, 40, has eight children. Dimetrius, her firstborn, was raised in Kaikohe by her paternal grandfather whom she adored.
After he died, Pairama spent time in Oranga Tamariki care and on Auckland’s streets.
Hetaraka became concerned her granddaughter had suicidal thoughts.
“Demi always hankered to go back to Kaikohe to be with her papa. I said why? There’s no coming back from there. She said, ‘I know’. I knew she wouldn’t be here long, but I didn’t think she would go in such a brutal way.”
Hetaraka says her granddaughter had ADHD and the mind of a 14-year-old.
“Demi was a happy free spirit, but she had no ears - she didn’t want to listen to anyone and that’s how she ended up in the streets. She was innocent and childlike and saw things differently and didn’t know much about the world outside. She identified more with her Māori side and felt out of place in the Pākehā world. She had a big heart and wanted to look after everyone, but she couldn’t look after herself.”
Police investigate the home in Mangere where 17-year-old Dimetrius Pairama was found. Photo / Doug Sherring
On a wintry day in July 2018, the teenager was beaten, stripped naked, tied to a chair with soiled underwear stuffed into her mouth, had household chemicals poured over her, burning her eyes, and was burned with a makeshift blowtorch at an abandoned South Auckland state house.
She was eventually given the choice of how she wanted to die - being stabbed or hanged. The teenager was hanged with a makeshift noose made from torn sheets. Her body was cut down and discarded in a rusty steel drum in the backyard of the house.
Hetaraka, who is partially deaf and attended both trials told the Herald on Sunday she was relieved she couldn’t hear all the gruesome details that were revealed in court recently.
“What I did hear was horrific, they treated Demi worse than an animal. It’s evil asking a child how she wants to die; she didn’t have a choice; they were going to do it regardless. I think the hanging would have been easier for Demi because the stabbing would have been more torture and pain. Then they tossed her in a barrel like she was a piece of rubbish. What goes on in their minds to be so cruel and violent to make her suffer like that?”
Ashley Winter, 27 at the time of the killing, and Kerry Te Amo, then 24, were found guilty of murdering Pairama by a jury in 2019. They had earlier pleaded guilty to kidnapping.
Ashley Winter and Kerry Te Amo were both jailed for life for murdering Dimetrius Pairama. Photos / File
In May 2020, Winter was sentenced to 19 years and four months behind bars, before being eligible for parole, while Te Amo was given a minimum period of 19 years. Both have appealed their sentences.
Last week, a third defendant, who was 16 at the time, was found guilty of kidnapping in the High Court at Auckland but a jury was not able to agree on verdicts for murder and manslaughter.
The Crown will decide this month if it will seek a retrial on the charge of murder. A sentencing date on the kidnapping charge has not yet been set.
Another teenager, a fourth member of the group who was at the house, was given immunity from prosecution by the Deputy Solicitor-General.
Over the course of the four-week trial, prosecutors Claire Robertson and Rob McDonald painted the defendant as someone who harboured “bitter resentment” over a perceived social media slight by Pairama and possible tension over a boy they both liked. As “trivial” as those reasons might sound, they were enough to prompt the defendant to act as a “wingman” after a co-defendant took the lead, they argued.
But defence lawyer David Niven described the woman as a “vulnerable” person with the mental capacity of a 9-year-old who could not care less about the Facebook comments but was under the control of a domineering, “predatory” adult nearly twice her age.
When the woman was found guilty of kidnapping, Hetaraka wanted to jump across the barrier and “smack her” in the face.
“I wanted her to turn around and say ‘sorry’ but nothing. I was thinking what if this was one of your family? How would you feel?”
Hetaraka says she is not ready to forgive and not looking forward to a possible retrial, which she says will be traumatising.
Her daughter Lena, she says, is struggling and paralysed with grief.
Lena Hetaraka-Pairama, next to her young daughter, said she struggled to hear of the evil and hurt Dimetrius Pairama suffered. Photo / Sam Hurley
“She feels she failed Demi as a mother. She was her firstborn and the love of her life and that’s hard for her. Lena will never find peace and begin to heal until this is all over.”
Kim Hetaraka is the grandmother of Dimetrius Pairama, who was tortured and killed. Photo / Michael Craig
Most days, Hetaraka is up at 4am walking the city streets checking the homeless have the basics – food, blankets, warm clothing and toiletries.
She is sorry she couldn’t save her granddaughter but is doing her best to look out for others in need.
“I will have to live with this the rest of my life. My job gives me purpose. I feel like I’m giving back to the community. I love helping the homeless even though I couldn’t do that for my own.”
Carolyne Meng-Yee is an Auckland- based investigative journalist. She has worked for the Herald since 2007 and was previously a commissioner at TVNZ and a current affairs producer for 60 minutes, 20/20 and Sunday.
SUICIDE AND DEPRESSION
Where to get help:
• Lifeline: Call 0800 543 354 or text 4357 (HELP) (available 24/7)• Suicide Crisis Helpline: Call 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO) (available 24/7)• Youth services: (06) 3555 906• Youthline: Call 0800 376 633 or text 234• What’s Up: Call 0800 942 8787 (11am to 11pm) or webchat (11am to 10.30pm)• Depression helpline: Call 0800 111 757 or text 4202 (available 24/7)• Helpline: Need to talk? Call or text 1737If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111
