SO THERE he was, The Offsider, wandering through what he had come to regard as the Summer of SAM.
The term came from a report on the latest weather system in a recent Weekend Herald by Geoff Cummings which noted New Zealand was being affected by the southern annual mode or SAM, a big dry which had holiday makers rejoicing, and farmers in some angst. Cummings described SAM as a variable climate pattern which, in its positive phase, brought settled weather and relatively light winds, while in her negative mode, SAM was expected to produce westerlies and "less settled" weather. So, a relatively good forecast for surf out west then.
As The Offsider had noted previously, the first month of this summer had passed by in La Nina-like conditions (drizzly, overcast and winds from the easterly quarter) but January had already proven worth the price of admission, leaving the previous summer for dead by comparison.
The scorching weather offered plenty of opportunity for The Offsider to take to the water on both coasts and town pool. He pushed Cheleyna (5 going on 6) into her first waves on a boogie board but she lost her ocean confidence after being stung painfully on the privates by an invisible sea-mite, as jellyfish began swarming to the warming west coast waters.
The Age sportsbuster was also blessed to catch two fine swells on the sand-bottom points at Ahipara during the first month of the new year, and making the most of the summer temperatures by surfing in boardshorts. The way he saw it the choice was either going out in boardies and risk getting cold, or don his full-suit Steamer, and steaming. He chose to be cool. He caught one of his best waves in ages, in front of a near-full carpark as the crowd began to arrive to check out a rising swell, but was soon bought down to earth by one wiseacre who greeted him with, "Hey, Kneeman!" in reference to the tortuous and ungainly technique The Offsider used to clamber to his feet.
However, the real issue out at Ahipara at the moment was the disgusting amount of human waste being left on the beach, presumably by surfers. The Offsider experienced the problem first-hand when he put his board in the shade under a tree in the corner of the inside bay and ended up having to tip-toe through a minefield of excrement and strips of stained toilet paper. The situation had grown well out of control all the way around, it was understood, thanks to the rising traffic of freedom campers and others regularly making overnighters. Rest assured, it's not just visitors who are guilty.
A potential solution, one clever-clogs suggested, was to install bio-toilets at various spots around the points; the alternative of educating the masses by suggesting people bring spades with them and bury their droppings not being realistic.
Yet the novel concept didn't seem likely to happen overnight considering the snail-like speed which local agencies would likely move to work together and address such an important issue. He wondered if local businesses - such as the cafes, restaurants, gas stations, takeaway bars and supermarkets who are the major financial beneficiaries of any pumping swell - could work with iwi and local boardriders and take a proactive stance by erecting such vital amenities out of goodwill and a need to protect their own investment. Sure, the problem occurs at popular tourist locations all over the country, but the prospect of good surf attracts far more people to Ahipara and with more far more frequency than all the other tourist spots in the Far North put together.
Elsewhere, The Offsider tried to stay out of the sun while taking a fortnight's leave, during which time he enjoyed reading a different interpretation of local sport provided by his cover, highly experienced Whangarei journalist Mike Barrington.
He was also particularly stoked to see his Tottenham Hotspur expressing interest in buying Winston Reid off West Ham. With the EPL having recently negotiated a massively lucrative deal for television rights where the primary beneficiaries will be the players themselves, Reid must now be one of New Zealand's highest paid/ highes profile athletes. So, vastly disappointing to find the Te Rarawa man hadn't even made the shortlist of the Halberg Sports Awards. Even Ricardo Christie - who last year qualified to surf on the ASP World Surf League this year where he will compete against former, current, and potential world champions like Kelly Slater, Gabriel Medina and John John Florence - was overlooked by the Halbergs selectors. All of which made the ceremony fair redundant in a Far North where more people play bridge than participate in cricket, rowing or cycling, as examples of three codes that took out major gongs on the night.
Moving on, it was great hearing Rob Halford, lead singer of seminal British heavy metal band Judas Priest, interviewed by Kim Hill on National Radio on a recent Saturday morning. The three classic Priest tracks chosen for the interview - Victim of Changes, Breaking the Law and Diamonds and Rust - have, of course, used as captions or headlines in past Age sports pages. In turn, it was particularly distressing to learn Rock FM programmers have taken Paul Martin's Axe Attack show off-air, removing it from the Sunday night timeslot where it provided a dark and doomy soundtrack as each week's two editions were planned. Thus, The Offsider encouraged everyone to sign the online petition to 'Bring Back the Axe Attack' which can be found at www.change.org/p/media-works-the-rock-fm-put-the-axe-attack-back-on-air, and on Facebook.
- The Offsider is Age sportsbuster Francis Malley. Respond atsports@northlandage.co.nz