Before I start though I have to point out I have jumped through many and varied hoops to get the tale to the point where it can be revealed without fear of retribution, both personal and legal.
Most importantly Mrs P has given her approval.
When I suggested I could use the story in this very column she basically responded with one of those "why not, it has never stopped you before" shrugs. Naturally it was followed by ". . . but it'll cost you".
The terms of that particular arrangement have been bashed out over the course of a few evenings (and the odd gin and tonic) and involve some confidentiality.