My halcyon days in the realm of luxury cruising begin when the Pacific Jewel casts off from the port of Sydney bound for the South Seas. Full of anticipation and more than a little apprehensive, I watch the ship's funnel pass within metres of the base of the spectacular Sydney Harbour Bridge. The passengers offer up three cheers and a Mexican wave to minuscule bridge-climbers at the apex of the towering structure.
The lively Pacific Entertainers soon get everyone in a positive mood with numbers like Red Red Wine and It's going to be a great day. The carnival atmosphere continues as DJs pump out rock music and pink "Party Girl" hats gyrate around the deck. I've finally got it - the Pacific Jewel is one continuous party.
The crew have some sage advice for us. "Ladies and gentlemen, the food on board is free, but you don't have to eat everything you see. We have a saying here that you come on board as a passenger and are consigned off as cargo."
My grand euphoric moment on board this modern Love Boat is watching the placement of the final glass flute on the tallest champagne waterfall in the Pacific Ocean.
Our maitre d' has raised this delicate edifice with infinite patience. A spellbound crowd presses forward. The atmosphere grows heavy with anticipation. The rising structure comprises 642 glass flutes and it sparkles like a pyramid of lustrous diamonds under the glare of spotlights.
I'm standing diffidently amid the throng of onlookers, expecting this scintillating celebration of earthly comforts to come crashing down. In my mind's eye, I visualise the tinkling crescendo of breaking glass, spilling the contents of 120 bottles of France's finest across the room.
I retire for the night with the warm, soporific feeling of having arrived somewhere surreal. I'm completely sold on the cruising life and I'm looking forward to the balmy days ahead among the Elysian Islands.
On-board activities
Every day aboard Pacific Jewel unfolds gently with a succession of salubrious pleasures. Eager to experience all the fun things listed on the Pacific Daily newsletter, I fill my first day with a succession of Hi-de-Hi! moments, racing from one activity to another like the quintessential happy camper, my precious blue cruise card for charging drinks suspended on a lanyard around my neck.
By late-afternoon I've gone from shuttle board to sudoku, table tennis to talent quests, quoits to quizzes, bingo to ballroom dancing and card games to cocktail hour. There's also a kids' mocktail demonstration, a solos and singles get-together and a grandma's club - but I have to pass on those.
Surprisingly, not everyone is caught up in this whirlwind of activity. On lightning dashes around the ship I observe passengers relaxing on deckchairs, sipping cocktails and reading books. Haven't they seen the activity list?
As the cruise proceeds, I learn to chill out and adopt the cruise credo of going with the flow. The drill is that you come aboard a cruise liner, unpack, unwind and simply let the ports, parties, pampering and pleasures come to you.
One of these pleasures is relaxing in the Aqua Spa, in the warm embrace of a seaweed detox body wrap followed by a deep-tissue massage. I also enjoy a salubrious sojourn in the steamy sauna, but hesitate to try the soothing facial using diamond-infused serum, even though it's cutting-edge therapy.
It's a joy to run away to the circus on the Lido deck, where a huge aerobatic arch is rigged with trapeze wires. Rodriguez from Columbia is the daring young man on the flying trapeze and his team of performers have the audience spellbound by their feats of fire twirling, juggling and flying on silk streamers.
It's another first on the Australasian cruising scene - the magic of the big top in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The 150 children on board are having a fabulous time, with theme parties, games, sports, a talent show and even a Captain's Cocktail Party. Children's supervisor, Jenny Rose, prints off the activity programme and delivers it to parents' cabins each evening.
In the morning, 3- to 6-year-olds tootle off to Turtle Cove, 7- to 12-year-olds scoot along to Shark Shack and teenyboppers troop into the Teen HQ Lounge to enjoy music and video games. Mum and dad can then become free spirits.
Venturing on land
One afternoon, while soaking up sunshine with the deckchair brigade, I notice a faint smudge on the horizon that slowly transforms into the mountains of New Caledonia. In Noumea, I join a relaxed boat trip out to the Escapade Island Resort to snorkel in the marine reserve and laze on the beach.
Through the magic of an island-hopping cruise, I wake next morning to see a white-sand beach, swaying palms and a sparkling turquoise sea. I go ashore on the Loyalty Island of Lifou and take a bus to Luecila Beach for a blissful swim in crystal-clear waters, followed by a visit to a fairy grotto where I get to cuddle a coconut crab.
At Port Vila, a floatplane carries me on a scenic flight over this superb natural harbour and later I don scuba gear for an underwater excursion.
On the magical island of Wala, I step off the ship's tender into a vastly different world. In a jungle clearing I'm startled by the sudden appearance of fearsome warriors from the ancient culture of the Small Nambas, who entertain me with dancing and singing.
By now I'm taking the captain's invitation to "enjoy the cruise of your lifetime on the ship of your dreams" to heart. Out here on the high seas I'm finding miracles do happen. Every night is Saturday night, every day is Sunday and every other hour is mealtime.
Cruising cuisine
Making a selection from the dinner menu is easily my most taxing decision on this cruise. The ultimate gourmet experience is Australian celebrity chef Luke Mangan's Salt Grill restaurant. This five-star joint venture is a first for Australasian cruise lines and my superb meal of kingfish sushi, tempura prawns and liquorice parfait is a highlight for me.
The restaurant will also be a feature of P&O's newest superliner, Pacific Pearl, which is due to be launched in Auckland in December 2010.
As midnight approaches, I relax in the spa with some Aussie mates who have shared the day's culinary highlights. Diamond-sharp stars stud the tropical skies and the only audible sound is the chink of mai tai glasses - this has to be the definition of bliss.
Cruising definitely deserves to be on life's must-do list. I can't wait to do it all again and again - does that make me a cruiseaholic?
LINER NOTES
PACIFIC JEWEL
* The Pacific Jewel weighs in at 70,000 tonnes and features a unique curved bow and a distinctive profile designed by Italian architect Renzo Piano.
* The vessel's 11 decks include a spacious show lounge, casino, shopping arcade, eight bars and lounges, six dining options, two swimming pools, a spa and fitness centre and an aerial stage for circus performances.
PACIFIC PEARL
* New Zealand's first superliner, Pacific Pearl, will be launched in Auckland on December 21 and sail five cruises in her maiden season to a range of destinations in the Pacific islands, including New Caledonia and Vanuatu.
* Carrying 1800 passengers, the 63,500-tonne ship will feature a state-of-the-art LED big screen, a swim-up bar in one of its two pools, an acrobatic arch for aerial circus performances on deck and three restaurants, including Salt Grill by Luke Mangan. Pacific Pearl will also offer a three-storey atrium, a spa and fitness centre, seven bars and lounges, two swimming pools, whirlpool spas and four kids' clubs.
* Fares on an eight-night cruise to the Pacific islands on the Pacific Pearl departing January 19, 2011, start from NZ$1359* a person twin share.
* For more information and bookings, contact a licensed travel agent or P&O Cruises on 0800 543 178, or visit www.pocruises.co.nz
*Subject to availability. Conditions apply.
Paul Rush travelled on Pacific Jewel courtesy of Qantas and P&O Cruises.
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