When someone sends their partner a list of rules on what they can and cannot do, it usually raises alarm bells — and in this case, it did just that.

A young woman from England exposed how her "toxic" ex-boyfriend gave her a long list of things not to do on a night out — but then cheated on her anyway.

Zoe Scholefield, from Wakefield, West Yorkshire, uploaded the 12-rule text message she received from the unidentified man to her Twitter page.

A woman has exposed how her 'toxic' ex-boyfriend sent her a list of rules on what to do and not to do on a night out. Photo / Twitter
A woman has exposed how her 'toxic' ex-boyfriend sent her a list of rules on what to do and not to do on a night out. Photo / Twitter

In it, he warns her not to "dance like a slag" and tells her to let him know "everything that happens" and be ready to "tell stories".


The screenshot of the lengthy rules list has since gone viral, attracting more than 34,000 likes, hundreds of comments and thousands of retweets.

"Funny how my ex sent me stuff like this then has the audacity to cheat on me," Zoe captioned the post along with two love-heart emojis.

The message, set out in point form in a list from one to 12, launches into what Zoe is allowed and not allowed to do.

He begins by telling her not to "dance like a slag like in reflex" and not to get "too drunk".

"No boys and if anyone comes up to you and talks to you, you tell them you have a boyfriend," rule three said.

A more reasonable rule was telling her to look after her drink to make sure no one puts anything in it, but then it went downhill from there.

"You let me know everything that happens and be ready to explain stories," he said in rule eight.

He demanded that even if he was asleep she should text him anything that happened so he could read it in the morning.


He also wanted to approve her outfit before heading out.

"Always send me photos of front and back of what you are wearing so I can approve and say whether or not I think you should wear it," the rule read.

And before she went to bed, he needed her to prove no one else was in the room.

"If you can, (I) want a video of room before you sleep to prove no one else is there and you are off to sleep," the man continued.

Zoe's post has clocked up 3100 retweets and comments from shocked Twitter users.

"The 'call or FaceTime me but let me know in advance' bit was a clear giveaway here. This is all vile!" one man commented.

"It's paranoia. He thinks you're going to do what he did to you, so he tries to control you. Used to have a mate that did that to his ex," another man added.

"Wow your ex sounds like the most toxic, dangerous, sociopath alive," said a third.

Many jumped at the opportunity to say a partner resorting to a "list" of any kind is a sign of "insecurity" and "projection".

"Don't know who needs to hear this but if your partner lists even one of those things then you should show them the door. Control isn't affection or love," another man explained.

"The fact he sent anything other than 'enjoy it' is a red flag."

"I think the whole f***ing text is massive red one tbh!"

Zoe posted the screenshot on Friday but is yet to respond to comments — but she did retweet a few including "once a cheat always a cheat".