*Warning: Contains explicit content and repeated sexual references
You don't know me, but you're about to become intimately acquainted with my sex life.
And I figure since this is a new feature, I won't beat about the bush - I'll just jump straight in.
I'm of the age where it's perfectly acceptable to bed a 50-year-old - or his 20-year-old son. Well, maybe not "perfectly acceptable". There are definitely a few more eyebrows raised when it's the latter. But it's 2018 and I'm a modern, single woman so I pretty much do what - and who - I want.
My vast experience with men of all ages has given me some very interesting, highly unscientific insights into generational differences when it comes to sexual appetites.
In a nutshell, the older generation are quite satisfied with your regular oral sex and doggie style. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. The younger lads, on the other hand, are a lot more physical and shall we say hands on, sometimes even around the neck. They're also somewhat obsessed with getting to the bottom of things…
Now don't get me wrong: I love to mix it up. A little hair-pulling, dirty-talking, and a spicy smack on the arse every now and then is definitely hot.
But I fail to see how a dude can think that forceful oral sex is pleasurable for me when I provide it. The porn girls seem to love it though, right!? That particular number is a key feature of any sexual encounter with a younger man, and I'm on a personal mission to stamp it out.
It is very obvious what our pervasive porn culture has done to our youth, and it's not good for us women. Surely I'm not the only one struggling to find pleasure with this generation of men? Or are millennials out there just loving being choked until they pass out?
One thing I will say for men of all ages is that despite all these hours spent watching porn, they're still universally rubbish at locating and utilising the almighty lady pleasure button. Fortunately, I will continue to do the community a service, teaching one young buck at a time its exact location and functionality.
I look forward to reading whatever comments might make it past the moderators when this story is published.
Take it easy on me, darlings, I'm new round here… I'd love to know what your own experiences with aggressive, porn-inspired sex are. Let's discuss!