A mother has revealed how she overcame her ice addiction after she found herself jailed for manufacturing the deadly drug to feed her own habit.
Dee-anne Allender, from Perth, tried ice - also known as crystal meth - for the first time at 24, and immediately became hooked for eight years.
Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, the now 40-year-old mother-of-four - who was the daughter of a politician - opened up about the moment she was so deep into drugs, she nearly paid with her life.
"There was that time I was at the train station, I was screaming at my dad over the phone. I just thought, you should just end your life by jumping in front of that train... make it easier for everybody," she recalled.
"I also had a a near death experience when I didn't weigh my drugs and I lost all balance and hearing and collapsed.
"When I went to the clinic, the doctor said 'that was a mini stroke'. I couldn't walk or talk. I had to crawl into the shower and sit there with my clothes on for hours."
She was born into a strict family where she was not even allowed to talk about drugs growing up inside their home.
"Drugs was a taboo subject," she said as she revealed her stepfather was a former police minister while her mother was a secretary for ex-premiers.
Ms Allender was diagnosed with dyslexia - a learning disorder that made it difficult for her to read - when she was eight years old.
"At the time, no one knew what the condition was doing to people," she recalled.
"I was struggling in school. I remember my family saying: 'If only she tried harder', but I knew I was trying as hard as I can.
"I thought 'I must have been stupid'. My brother and sister are quite successful. My parents were successful... and then there was me. I always felt I was a little different."
At 15, Ms Allender left home to stay with her friends - and eventually turned to drugs, starting with smoking marijuana.
But it was not until she was 17 she became addicted to amphetamines - a stimulant drug that increase the activity of certain chemicals in the brain.
"As soon as I tried it, I liked it. I was depressed as a teenager. I remember trying amphetamine and feeling high on energy," Ms Allender recalled.
"But then I would get all these suicidal thoughts when I was coming down."
But her life spiralled out of control when she had her first hit of ice and she was spending up to $1,000 a week to fund her addiction five times a day.
Ms Allender hit rock bottom when she found herself behind bars for attempted manufacture amphetamines in 2010.
"I was sent to jail for almost a year," she recalled.
"I was told my children were being taken away from me. I just lost it. I was in a fit of rage. I was screaming. I knew I wasn't well.
"Security guards had to hog-tie me because I was smashing my face against the glass window."
Ms Allender's children stayed with their grandparents while she battled her drug addiction and served time in jail.
"It was a short time [in jail] but I thought it was a positive thing. I was taken away from my addiction because I was separated from drugs," she said.
"At first, I thought I wasn't hurting anybody. But there's nothing worse than your own children visiting you in prison, and then you realise the damage you've caused."
After she was released, Ms Allender relapsed after she fell into the wrong crowd with old friends again.
The mother said was able to find the strength to turn her life around by admitting herself to rehab at 32 after the support she received from her children.
"I remember my youngest daughter calling me when I was in prison, asking when I was coming home," she recalled.
"I realised how I disrespected my children. I was being selfish because I was putting drugs before them. I didn't know what was on the other side of it... the soul and destroying drug that almost took over my life.
"I can't even imagine the pain they went through. I love them so much and they have been such forgiving little things and my dad has been amazing."
When her husband died from a heroin overdose two years ago, she realised the excruciating pain she was putting her children through.
"I know what it's like to be waiting at home wondering if your loved one is going to be coming home alive or if police will be knocking on the door," Ms Allender said.
"I couldn't bear the thought of putting my children through that again after my late husband died. It's hard seeing people go down that road."
Despite her support, Ms Allender said the relationship with her mother and stepfather had not healed since she stopped using seven years ago.
"My mum and stepfather have not been so forgiving. Even after all these years, all the good times, it's still very hurtful for them," she said.
"I don't blame them. When you let them down so many times, they won't trust you. I known it's going to take a long time until I earn their trust again."
Ms Allender - who is now happily married with her new husband - hopes by sharing her story, she would encourage others dealing with a drug addiction to seek help.
"I always said to myself that if I could turn my life around, I would help others," Ms Allender, who works in the reception at Fresh Start drug rehab clinic, said.