By Ewan McDonald
'FAMILY movie." The tag can be the kiss of death at the suburban multiplex - that's going to be the session that the teenagers are NOT going to queue for on Saturday night - but it's a whole different story at the video store.
It is far more likely
to be the tape that the kids can bring home to watch when the screen comes free after the NPC match of the day and before Lotto. And this week's major rental release is a good family movie.
Mighty Joe Young is a remake of a remake of King Kong, one that the kids will love and most parents (and grandparents) might find themselves enjoying a whole lot more than they expected.
Out in Africa there's a giant gorilla and his blond protector, Jill (Charlize Theron), who share a bond. Poachers killed both their mothers on the same day.
Along comes an American zoologist, Gregg (Bill Paxton), who takes a shine to both the gorilla and its mistress. Joe is taken to a new home in California but never quite settles in. When the poachers who orphaned him and Jill turn up, complete with voodoo rattle, he goes berserk on the streets of Los Angeles.
OK, so this is Disney, and grown-ups know there's going to be a nice animal, some nice humans and some bad ones, and grown-ups know there's going to be schmaltz. Joe and Jill are good. The poachers are bad. So forget the big moral dilemmas - what's this zoologist think he's doing, taking a 5m gorilla from the jungle to the mall? (hang on, maybe that's not so far-fetched) - and enjoy an evening of good, clean fun with director Ron Underwood's heartwarming, tissue-drenching fantasy.
* As promised in the feature on Brenda Blethyn a couple of weeks ago, her recent smash hit Girls' Night - with Julie Walters - is released this weekend. Blethyn, of Little Voice and Secrets and Lies, is Dawn, shy, trapped in a dead-end job in an electronics factory in a dreary northern English town, dreaming of hitting the high life in Las Vegas.
Jackie (Walters), brassy good-time girl, Dawn's sister-in-law, best mate and fellow worker, dreams only of getting out. They seem to have struck it lucky with a big win at the local bingo hall - but Dawn is diagnosed with cancer. Jackie decides to kidnap her for a week's r'n'r and the pair - in Dolly Parton wigs and cowboy hats - take on Vegas.
"We'll be just like Thelma and Louise," bawls Jackie. Dawn: "Who are they?" There's a not a lot more plot from here on in, but plenty of laughs, not a few tears, two marvellous performers (won't mention Kris Kristofferson as a cowboy doing the Brad Pitt role from Thelma and Louise about 40 years too late), and plenty of North of England flavour and wit.
* From here on in, you'll choose these movies from the new releases stand if you know the names of the stars from their TV or previous big-screen roles, because we're not talking major cinematic events.
Dead Man On Campus has Tom Everett Scott (That Thing You Do, One True Thing) and Mark-Paul Gosselaar as new room-mates Josh and Cooper. Josh is the studious type, Cooper's the nothing-succeeds-like-excess guy - a lifestyle that rubs off on Josh and soon has both in danger of flunking out. But there's a catch: a clause in the school charter awards an A to students who suffer the trauma of a room-mate's suicide. So Josh and Cooper set out to find the student with a death wish who is, uh, most likely to succeed. Oh, this is a comedy.
Bad to the Bone is definitely not aimed at those old enough to remember the song from the first time around. May I quote from the blurb: "Francesca Wells (Kirsty Swanson) is drop-dead gorgeous, with the body trail to prove it, in this sizzling, suspense-packed thriller. After their mother is brutally murdered, Francesca is left with a sizeable inheritance and her adoring 17-year-old brother Danny (Jeremy London). She uses the money to buy a nightclub with her boyfriend Waldo, but quickly tires of him. Skilfully spinning a web of lies, Francesca convinces Danny to kill Waldo, and then leave him behind to face the consequences. With Danny behind bars, Francesca flees, scamming her way across the country until her game of murder and manipulation ends in a shocking, unforgettable finale."
Melissa Joan Hart has been groomed (made over by now, probably) to be a star for several years before landing the lead in the hit TV series Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
In a movie version she goes to Rome and has only two weeks to uncover the secret to opening an ancient locker that belonged to her Aunt Sophia, a witch who lost her powers when the mortal she loved betrayed her. But our Sabrina finds her life mirroring Sophia's when she falls for a journalist, whose plan to expose her to a tabloid may cause Sabrina to lose her magical powers forever. In the 60s they used to make these movies with Hayley Mills.
Whatever happened to Harry Hamlin after LA Law? He began making movies like The Hunted, in which a plane carrying $12 million crashes in the wilderness and the pilot and the money disappear without a trace. Insurance investigator Samantha Clark (Madchen Amick of Twin Peaks) heads for the rugged Pacific North-west to investigate. Her car is totalled on the way to the crash site; at a nearby cabin, she meets the mysterious recluse Doc (Hamlin), who might lead her to the wreck. Or maybe just into more trouble. Psychological thriller, the sort you see late at night on channels with really low viewing figures.
By Ewan McDonald
'FAMILY movie." The tag can be the kiss of death at the suburban multiplex - that's going to be the session that the teenagers are NOT going to queue for on Saturday night - but it's a whole different story at the video store.
It is far more likely
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