KEY POINTS:
One in six mothers has a favourite child - but would never admit to it, according to a survey by Netmums.com, one of the most popular parenting websites in the UK.
More than 1000 mothers responded to the survey, with 16 per cent admitting they love one child
more than the others. One-third said they love their children in exactly the same way, while just over half said they love their children differently - but equally.
"I do have a favourite child: my second youngest and my last daughter," admitted Polly, a mother of four children who asked to remain anonymous.
"It's almost like a secret love affair. When she walks into a room with my other children, she stands out to me more than the rest. I would die for all my kids but I have to admit I would fight more strongly and fiercely for her."
Polly said she would never admit her preference to anyone.
"It feels like I'm betraying my other wonderful children and the impact on them could be potentially devastating," she said.
"But I strongly believe that most parents do have a favourite child but are reluctant to admit it. Most parents recoil in horror at the thought of admitting this and spend a lot of time and worry suppressing their feelings. I have come to private terms with the fact that I am going to have to continue - like most other parents - to live in denial."
Jodie Hill, also a mother of four who lives in Newcastle upon Tyne, northeast England, favours her daughter.
"My mother-in-law and I have argued about it but my feelings are too overpowering to deny. I can't deny that my daughter is my favourite," she said.
"There are reasons for it. I had always wanted a girl but had three sons. Then I got pregnant by mistake and almost had a termination.
"I thought I was hiding my preference but after my mother-in-law stepped in and challenged me, I've tried to control my behaviour," she said.
"I no longer spoil my daughter and not my sons, and I try to spend extra time with the boys alone, to get closer to them."
There is very little research into favouritism. This, said Christine Duff, a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and a Netmums online parent supporter, is a result of the level of taboo that the issue holds in society.
"Sadly, I hear this all the time," she said. "It is something which causes women intense shame and guilt. Mothers need to know that it is not uncommon to struggle to bond with one or more children and that it can be worked on."
Duff said many women found it hardest to bond with their eldest child, a feeling which could stem from the difficulty of being a first-time mother.
However there were exceptions, she said, many of which had little to do with the children themselves.
"I have found that often those mothers who have told me that they love one child over another also very often report dissatisfaction with how their relationship with their partners has changed," she said.
"It often seems to me to be about unrealistic expectations of life, love, motherhood and themselves, all combined with an overly harsh self-judgment."
Justine Roberts, the co-founder of Mumsnet, another parenting website, said mothers felt so ashamed of having a favourite child they were often unable to address the issue even in an anonymous online environment.
"Parents are really concerned, and rightly so, of loving one child more than the other but I'm sure it's really common," she added.
"It's entirely natural after all - some children are easier to love because they're more likeable, they cause less anxiety and they make your life easier. But feeling that way, it doesn't have to mean you treat your children differently.
"It's a shame there isn't more help and advice out there for parents in this situation."
But sociologist Dr Martina Klett-Davies said favouritism could have the counter-intuitive impact of harming the preferred child while helping their siblings.
"If there is a favourite child, they probably become too spoiled and find it difficult in later life," she said.
"But the imbalance could prepare siblings for unfairness in later life when you leave the family circle by teaching them to be fighters."
STRICTLY TABOO
"Please tell me it's not abnormal." It was the feeling that she was breaking the ultimate parenting taboo that caused Hazel Smith, of Liverpool, England, most distress when she realised she favoured the younger of her two sons.
"I admit these feelings to my partner, but would feel too ashamed to talk about it with my friends. I tried speaking to the child health visitor, but she dismissed it as post-natal depression, which I know it is not.
"Having a favourite is the worst emotion you can feel as a parent.
"There's no advice around for parents going through this. I have read child-development books and watched television programmes about parenting, but they don't talk about it. That makes me feel even more abnormal. I wish this issue would be forced out into the open."
- OBSERVER
