Andrew McFadden rolls his eyes as he ponders the question. As he gets set for a new adventure in Canberra after the best Warriors season in seven years, McFadden is being asked to reflect back on his darkest days at the club, when he was sacked as head coach in October 2016 after almost three seasons at the helm.
He's reluctant to talk about it — "I don't want to go into this too much, to be honest" — but is still refreshingly candid. McFadden admits he didn't want to step down at the time but accepted some fresh energy was needed and reveals he and Stephen Kearney had some tough moments, especially early in Kearney's reign.
McFadden leaves Auckland today. He's remained tight-lipped about what's next but it wouldn't surprise if he picked up a role at the Raiders.
The McFadden era will likely remain unique. After being axed, he stayed on as an assistant for two seasons.
The decision was criticised but provided much-needed continuity. It's a tribute to the vision of former chief executive Jim Doyle and the willingness of McFadden and Kearney to make it happen.
The Warriors sat seventh with four games to play in 2016 but lost them all, including three at Mt Smart.
They'd also endured three golden-point losses, so to narrowly miss the playoffs was a bitter pill.
"I was pretty exhausted," said McFadden. "It wasn't that I necessarily wanted to stand down but I was going to need to recharge the batteries, that's for sure. Jim wanted to get some fresh energy in. We met up at the Howick Club and had an honest conversation.
That's where he floated the idea about me staying."
McFadden, after pondering the idea, decided he was open to it.
"It made sense," said McFadden."I didn't want to give up. I hate giving up. I wanted to see this team do well [and] there had been some good foundations put down. But it probably did need a bit of fresh energy at the time with Steve coming in. And I knew Steve and saw it could work."
But it wasn't easy. The situation almost unprecedented. There have been instances of coaches being moved 'upstairs' to technical roles but not staying to work with the same group of players.
"I struggled at the time," said McFadden. "I didn't know where my place was, I felt really funny but that was probably natural. It was a new group for Steve and I knew them really well. It took me a while to change my mindset to assistant. It was probably hard for Steve at first, to see me there and I still had that connection with the players."
McFadden admits there were times the pair didn't see eye to eye.
"There were a few differences of opinion. The majority of it was probably me. I was still hanging on to a few things, and I needed to accept a few things personally about my style as a coach and a few personality things. But it helped me become a better coach; Steve has helped me become a better coach."
The first few months of the 2017 season were difficult at times, as trust was built and boundaries redefined.
"It's a unique scenario," said McFadden. "It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't willing, and if Steve wasn't willing. But we both were, which was great. We had a few challenging times but we have always discussed it openly. There were some tough conversations but it made us grow a lot closer. It became a really good working relationship. I think Steve is doing an incredible job and I enjoyed my coaching more than I ever have."
McFadden's legacy can't be underestimated. He helped bring a tough, harder edge to the club when he took over in April 2014, after the chaos and confusion of the Matthew Elliott era, and the failure in 2012 under Brian McClennan.
He also made the difficult but ultimately correct decision to release Konrad Hurrell, and gave debuts to young talents such as David Fusitu'a, Solomone Kata, Ken Maumalo, Jazz Tevaga and Bunty Afoa.
"I've loved it here, in so many ways," said McFadden. "And I'm proud of what we've done this year. We had a couple of tough spots during the year that certainly tested our belief but we always came out the other side, stronger and better."