My name is Taffy. My family is blessed to call New Zealand home. We are citizens here. I am married to Arthur and we have a daughter, Maimai, and she’s 8 years old.

Before moving to New Zealand, my family had lived in 22 countries, including France, the United Kingdom, Australia and Canada.

We chose to settle in beautiful New Zealand because it is considered one of the safest countries in the world and the best country by far to raise children. We love it here.

So how do I describe my cultural background when meeting people for the first time?
Well.

The ‘black’ and ‘white’ labels have always made me uncomfortable. We identify as a family of African ethnicity and we are fiercely proud of our Zimbabwean heritage.
Speaking of colour … I remember calling a school holiday programme to check if my daughter was back from an offsite day.

The lady on the phone said,

I immediately corrected her, advising her to refer to my daughter by her name as opposed to the colour of her skin — which is brown, by the way.

She countered by informing me that, ‘This is how we refer to people who look like you in New Zealand, and if you don’t like that, then go back where you came from’.

Suffice to say, in our family, we don’t subscribe to the whole ‘black’ and ‘white’ thing — we choose to see the beauty of the people around us — gorgeous humans and friends who are worthy of love and respect.

‘The only thing that should be separated by colour is laundry’

I wish more people would choose to look at life through this very simple lens, too.

In my humble opinion, the only thing that should be separated by colour is laundry.

Referring to someone by the colour of their skin fosters discrimination and exclusion.

Not only that, it is also hurtful and unkind.

The point is, there is so much gold that lies beneath the colour of one’s skin, we simply need to train our minds and hearts to look beyond skin colour.

I am opting to be ‘colour brave’ as opposed to being ‘colour blind.’

Just because we look different due to the pigmentation of our skin does not mean we will harm you, rob you or pass on some ghastly disease.

Neither does it mean we are uneducated, refugees or freeloaders.

Be brave enough to come over and chat to us and challenge your own unconscious biases and assumptions about us and anyone who looks different from you — I promise you, you will be pleasantly surprised.

This is how we will make sustainable changes that will make New Zealand a more inclusive and welcoming community.

‘How can we choose to not care in the face of such injustice?’

Here is why George Floyd’s story is relevant to my own journey as an African mother living in New Zealand and the reasons why so many of us care so deeply about the events that led to his death.

I watched all 8 minutes 46 seconds of the video and to say I was traumatised is an understatement.

You see, when George cried out for his mama, in his deepest, darkest hour of need, I cried with him and for him.

How many of you can identify with that pain — when your baby cries for you, knowing that mama is the only person in the world who can make things better?

Even though his mama was deceased, in his most terrifying last minutes, struggling to breathe, he cried out for her.

I would like to think that somehow, he believed she would come to his rescue.

Surely some of you can relate to that moment in some way because this has a lot to do with empathy, and I know as New Zealanders, we have a lot of that.

As George cried out for his mama, the love he had for her was almost tangible, so real I could almost hear and feel it.

There was no denying, that in his final moments, he knew his mother had loved him fiercely and would have intervened, if she could.

How can we choose to remain silent in the face of such sadness? How does this not affect me and how does this not affect us?

How can we choose to not care in the face of such injustice?

As humans, we are capable of such profound empathy for others — that is the beauty of our humanity.

New Zealand, we should care because the issue of racism is here, too. I refuse to let George Floyd’s death be in vain.

Make room for change

Each person living in this country deserves the right to feel safe, to live freely and be able to exercise freedom of expression.

We need to accept there are communities that are robbed of these basic human rights.

Freedom, dreaming of a future and safety are a luxury that some cannot afford.

My heart breaks. The good news is that things don’t have to stay this way if we make room for change.

Racism is a problem that exists and affects so many here, in New Zealand. This is relevant to our world and all it takes to fix this is kindness.

As a mother, I am speaking up because things need to change.

My name is Maimai and I like warm hugs. I have lots of friends and I really love going to school.

At first, being the new girl was really hard. I had to be brave.

I remember trying to join into a circle where some girls were having lots of fun.

I had gone away. Another day, I tried to join in again.

This group is for princesses only.’

I told them I was a princess and that my mummy and daddy call me ‘princess’ at home.

They laughed and called me a liar.

‘There are no black princesses. Stop following us.’

I told mummy I did not want to go to school any more because I was invisible. No one could see me and no one wanted to be my friend.

I wanted to have blonde pig tails and blue eyes. I knew the girls would like me then and I could join in the circle.

‘Mummy was my first friend at school’

Mummy promised to be my friend at school. The next day, the bell had rung for morning tea. Mummy was there, waiting for me with her sandwich.
I had a friend at school!

Mummy was my first friend at school. She was always there at morning tea and lunch time after that.

Then one day, the principal and other teachers came into our classroom and hugged me.

They talked about being kind. They told the whole class that I was their friend and that I was a princess looking for friends to play with.

At morning tea, some girls came and invited me to sit with them. They called me ‘Princess Maimai’. I was too happy to eat my lunch.

At lunch time, I was too busy playing to eat. I had friends to run and play on the slide with.

That was the best day ever!

The teachers and the principal came into our class the next day and again and again.

Every day, they reminded the class that I was a princess and that the school was a kind school and everyone had to be friendly. Those were the rules.

I started to have more and more friends at school — school was fun!

Then a new girl came.

She told me she didn’t like me because I was the ugliest girl she had ever seen.

Mummy told me I was beautiful, that the new girl was lying and that I was to ignore her mean words.

Another day, she told me I looked like the black pigs on her daddy’s farm.

Mummy told me that as long as I liked myself, I didn’t need to be liked by everyone, and that if someone doesn’t like me, there will always be someone else who will.

Sometimes, everyone gets invited to parties except me.

One day, a sad thing happened. My friend told me that her mummy had told her not to play with me because I am a black girl.

My friend wanted us to be secret friends. I felt sad because we couldn’t play any more.
‘Having different coloured skin doesn’t mean I am mean or will hurt anyone’
Even if some people have not always been nice, most people are kind to me and tell me I am beautiful and have good manners.

This one time, my friend told me my skin looked like chocolate and asked to lick my face.

This was a good thing because chocolate is sweet. I told her she could taste my face. It was so funny!

I don’t know why some children are mean. I always smile at everyone so they know I am kind, so they don’t feel scared.

Having different coloured skin doesn’t mean I am mean or that I will hurt anyone.
I think many girls are just like me. Even if we look different on the outside, we are the same on the inside.

I like LOL dolls and Lego. I swim and run fast and tell funny jokes.